Month: May 2011

  • pooped

    I was too pooped to drivel last night after dance class. We waltzed from one end of the room to the other in the group lesson, and then we kept on waltzing around the room all the way through our private lesson. And we were working on dance steps for a Viennese waltz. The difference… Read.

  • Gobble

    B spent all day yesterday in her garden, getting the crops planted – onions, potatoes, peas, lettuce, if memory serves. It’s the only mother’s day present she asks for. My part of the bargain is to do the worrying about dinner so she won’t have to. I solved that problem by running out to Fraboni’s… Read.

  • duck

    The only part of last night’s dream that I remember is the very last thing My Darling B said to me as we sat at a bar in a generic Wisconsin tavern. She turned to me and, in a voice loud enough that she almost drowned out my alarm clock, she said, “QUACK! QUACKQUACKQUACK! QUACK!”… Read.

  • Gadgets

    As I watched My Darling B carefully arrange wedges of potato in a trench before covering them in dirt and straw, I asked her, “Why don’t you use a potato planter to do that?” “Because I like playing in the dirt,” was the first part of her answer — and then she said the most… Read.

  • Jack and Diane

    A mondegreen for you to ponder today from the song “Jack and Diane” by John Mellencamp, who was then known as either John Cougar Mellencamp, or maybe John Cougar; he was changing his name so often back then that I lost track: Gonna let it rock, let it roll Let the Bible Belt come and… Read.

  • full

    I’m still a little full after last night’s visit to The Old Fashioned. It’s the kind of restaurant where you go to order a sandwich that’s so big you couldn’t possibly eat it in one sitting, and because it’s just that big they give you an order of fries you have to split in half… Read.

  • Camp

    When last we saw the dreamer, he was watching a movie with his family in the living room of a cardboard house in a refugee camp. The walls of the house were cheap, but the movie was playing on a flat-screen television that was at least ninety-six inches from corner to corner. The planning section… Read.

  • Craft

    My Darling B and I went to a “beer tasting” at the Glass Nickel yesterday evening. I put that in quotes because it sounds like the beer’s tasting you, doesn’t it? But that’s what they call it when a guy from the brewery shows up and gives samples of beer away. Upland Brewing was giving… Read.

  • Faster

    Aaron and Ryan were having a conversation just outside my cubicle. I wasn’t paying any attention to what they were saying until I heard Ryan stop Aaron with, “Let’s ask Dave, he’ll know.” “Hey, Dave,” Ryan called over the top of my cubicle wall, “What’s the capital of Kentucky?” “Frankfort,” I answered. Then Aaron explained:… Read.

  • Oil Can

    I felt like the Tin Man this morning, swiveling my pelvis and squeaking, “Oil can! Oil can!” through clenched lips, hoping to catch the attention of a passing pigtailed girl in a gingham dress, of which there are distressingly few these days. I don’t know if I slept at a bad angle as a result… Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend