The Rules

Boston’s Irreversible Law of Clutter
In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available.

Brandolini’s Law (aka The Bullshit Asymmetry Principle)
The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude greater than needed to produce it.

Butler’s Law of Progress
All progress is based on a universal, innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

Byron’s Law
Truth is stranger than fiction.

Mark Twain’s corollary to Byron’s law
Truth is stranger than Fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities: Truth isn’t.

Cannon’s Cogent Comment
The leak in the roof is never in the same place as the wet spot on the floor.

Cheops’ Law
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Clarke’s First Law
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Asimov’s Corollary to Clarke’s First Law
When the lay public rallies round an idea that is denounced by distinguished but elderly scientists, and supports that idea with great fervor and emotion, the distinguished but elderly scientists are then, after all, right.

Clarke’s Second Law
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.

Clarke’s Third Law
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Clarke’s Law of Revolutionary Ideas
Every revolutionary idea, in Science, Politics, Art or Whatever, evokes three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the three phrases:
“It is completely impossible — don’t waste my time.”
“It is possible, but it is not worth doing.”
“I said it was a good idea all along.”

The Closed System Rule
There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.

Denniston’s Corollary
If you do something right once, somebody will ask you to do it again.

Finagle’s Third Law
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
No one whom you ask for help will see it.
Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will see it immediately.

Fyfe’s First Law of Revision (the Now-They-Tell-Me Law)
Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after, and only after, the design is complete.

Green’s Law of Debate
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Gresham’s Law
Trivial matters are handled promptly; important matters are never resolved.

Hanson’s Treatment of Time
There are never enough hours in the day, but there are always too many days until Saturday.

Hartig’s Law (Thumb in the Butter Law, or Sleeve in the Cup Law)
When one is making every effort to be elegant, one won’t.

Hubbard’s Observation
Life is one damn thing after another.

Edna St. Vincent Millay’s Rebuttal to Hubbard’s Observation
It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another, it’s that it’s the same damn thing over and over again.

Hutchinson’s Law
If a situation requires your undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.

Kopcha’s Rule
There is always one more son of a bitch than you counted on.

The Leap Year Corollary
Exceptions will always outnumber rules.

Murphy’s Law
If anything can go wrong, it will.

Warneke’s Corollary to Murphy’s Law
You cannot force Murphy’s Law to happen.

Murphy’s Corollary to Murphy’s Law
If anything that could have gone wrong did not go wrong, it would have ultimately been beneficial for it to go wrong.

The N+1 Law
Whatever you set out to do, something else must be done first.

Naeser’s Law
You can make it foolproof, but you can’t make it damnfoolproof.

Nye’s Law
Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.

Patton’s Law
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Poulsen’s Law
When anything it used to its full potential, it will break.

Rawson’s first law
As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.

Rap’s Law
If you take something apart, when you put it back together there will always be at least one part left over.

Corollary to Rap’s Law
If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.

First corollary to Rawson’s first law
Never loan a book, not even to your best friend, if you really want to get it back.

Second corollary to Rawson’s first law
No matter how much bookshelf space you have, it’s never enough.

The Second Law of Communication
The information communicated is less important than the impression.

The First Law of Selective Gravitation (the “Buttered Side Down Rule”)
When an object is dropped, it will fall in such a way as to cause the greatest possible damage to itself and/or other objects on which it lands.

The Second Law of Selective Gravitation
The tendency for an object to be dropped is directly proportional to its value.

The Third Law of Selective Gravitation
An object, when dropped, will roll to the one place in the room where it’s hardest to get to.

Scalzi’s Law
The failure mode of ‘clever’ is ‘asshole.’

Schalow’s plan
Anything worth doing is worth doing twice, the first time quick and dirty and the second time the best way you can.

Wellington’s Law of Command
The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

Wiio’s Law of Communication
Human communication usually fails, except by accident.

Wyszowski’s Second Law
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.