Category: random idiocy
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sea lion
I phoned in an order for breakfast sandwiches and gave my middle name as “Leo” because when I give my first name “Dave” it always gets mangled to “Damien” or “Devon”. They almost always get “Leo” right, although this is the first time they mangled it all the way to “Ci Lion” (which she pronounced… Read.
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Up On The Roof
A couple days ago I was in the van, taking measurements of the floor and adding the measurements to sketches in a notebook so I could figure out how to piece together all the woodwork that’s going to become The Camping Thing. This is not the first time I’ve measured the insides. I’ve measured so… Read.
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loop-de-loo
While skimming social media this morning I read one passing reference to the 1975 pop music hit “The Hustle” and GUESS WHAT’S BEEN PLAYING ON A LOOP IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE. Kill me now. (Warning to those who did not grow up in the 1970s: If you Google “The Hustle” DO NOT LISTEN TO… Read.
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Jam Package Overkill
All this packaging to send six jars of jam through the mail. Seems excessive. Read.
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“I am your density.”
Writing prompt: Do you believe in fate/destiny? No. But also, maybe. Depends. Read.
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mom voice
I was doing something stupid until I was stopped by THE MOM VOICE Read.
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improbable
We were watching the first episode of “The Last of Us” when my mom texted me. She was housebound because she’d been hit by the same deep freeze that was keeping all us inside, but for her it was worse: she lives in Arkansas where the road maintenance crews don’t go out to salt or… Read.
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shreddable
We have a cross-cut paper shredder and nearly everything we get in the mail goes straight from the mailbox to the shredder because it’s practically all junk mail. I don’t even open it unless I absolutely have to. Case in point: The junk mail I get from Triple A. Those guys know how to make… Read.
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build a fire
I suffered an especially painful case of dry-eye last night and when I told My Darling B about it, she said, “Maybe you need a humidifier in the bedroom.” What I heard her say was, “Maybe you need to make a fire in the bedroom.” When she says something that doesn’t make any sense at… Read.
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flat
I just saw a car drive past our house on a flat tire. The front right tire was flat flat flat. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to do that. I can’t imagine why anyone would do that. I wouldn’t do that unless I was being pursued by ravenous beasts. Even in this weather (the… Read.
