Category: daily drivel
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Gadgets
As I watched My Darling B carefully arrange wedges of potato in a trench before covering them in dirt and straw, I asked her, “Why don’t you use a potato planter to do that?” “Because I like playing in the dirt,” was the first part of her answer — and then she said the most… Read.
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full
I’m still a little full after last night’s visit to The Old Fashioned. It’s the kind of restaurant where you go to order a sandwich that’s so big you couldn’t possibly eat it in one sitting, and because it’s just that big they give you an order of fries you have to split in half… Read.
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Camp
When last we saw the dreamer, he was watching a movie with his family in the living room of a cardboard house in a refugee camp. The walls of the house were cheap, but the movie was playing on a flat-screen television that was at least ninety-six inches from corner to corner. The planning section… Read.
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Faster
Aaron and Ryan were having a conversation just outside my cubicle. I wasn’t paying any attention to what they were saying until I heard Ryan stop Aaron with, “Let’s ask Dave, he’ll know.” “Hey, Dave,” Ryan called over the top of my cubicle wall, “What’s the capital of Kentucky?” “Frankfort,” I answered. Then Aaron explained:… Read.
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Oil Can
I felt like the Tin Man this morning, swiveling my pelvis and squeaking, “Oil can! Oil can!” through clenched lips, hoping to catch the attention of a passing pigtailed girl in a gingham dress, of which there are distressingly few these days. I don’t know if I slept at a bad angle as a result… Read.
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Surprise!
I turned on the radio this morning and guess what? Osama bin Laden’s been killed! When did that happen? How did I miss that? I must’ve been in a coma! Or maybe it’s because I’m living under a rock! Wow! I sure hope I can catch the news at the top of the hour so… Read.
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Confused
And now, for your viewing pleasure, a clipping from this month’s office newsletter: Secretary Ross: Congratulations! Me: Who are you? What are you doing here? What is this thing? The cameraman took more than one photo of us while we were talking, and one more of us shaking hands and looking into the camera. And… Read.
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Being bin Laden
Bin laden bin laden bin laden. Bin laden bin laden. Osama bin Laden. Bin laden bin laden osama bin laden. “Osama bin laden bin laden osama bin laden,” osama bin laden bin laden bin laden. Osama bin laden bin laden osama osama bin laden bin laden. Bin laden bin laden osama bin laden. Osama. Osama… Read.
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Certified
Speaking of birth certificates, did I ever tell you that our youngest, T-Dawg, was very nearly born in a forest on the outskirts of Berlin? It’s true. He very nearly was. We lived in an apartment in Zehlendorf on the southern edge of the city, right next to the Berlin wall, and when I say… Read.
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Royally
I understand somebody in the royal family of Britain is getting married. I had this admittedly vague bit of information stashed away in the back of my brain cell, ready to whip out in case I heard somebody talking about it, but nobody did, so I pretty much forgot about it until this week. This… Read.
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