I moved on her

I moved on her,
actually.

You know,
she was down on Palm Beach.

I moved on her, and
I failed.
I’ll admit it.

I did try and fuck her.

She was married.

I moved on her very heavily.

In fact,
I took her out furniture shopping.
She wanted to get some furniture.

I said,
“I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.”

I moved on her
like
a bitch.

But
I couldn’t get there.

And she was married.

Then all of a sudden
I see her,
she’s now got
the
big
phony
tits
and everything.

She’s totally changed her look.

Whoa! Whoa!

Look at you,
you are a pussy.

All right,
you and I will walk out.

I better use some Tic Tacs
just in case
I start kissing her.

You know,
I’m automatically attracted to beautiful —
I just start kissing them.

It’s like a magnet.
Just kiss.

I don’t even wait.

And when you’re a star,
they let you do it.
You can do anything.

Grab ’em by the pussy.
You can do anything.

Oh, it looks good.

Ooh, nice legs, huh?

O.K., absolutely.

Melania said this was O.K.

Sour Grapes

Pushing the buttons and ringing the bells that waken his Twitter army, Our Amazing President tweeted:

“Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named “Man (Person) of the Year,” like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!” — Donald Trump, via Twitter, 11-24-2017

Other Twitter users couldn’t help but have some fun with it:

“Right Said Fred called to say that I was PROBABLY too sexy for my shirt like last year, but I would have to do my little turn AND shake my tush on the catwalk. I said I’m a model and took a pass. Thanks anyway!” — Jonny Law, via Twitter, 11-25-2017

“Patton Oswalt called to say that he was going to tween that GET OUT was PROBABLY his favorite move of the year, but I would have to agree to get lunch with him and do a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!” — Jordan Peele, via Twitter, 11-24-2017

“Good Boy Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named “Dog of the Year,” like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway.” — Vanessa Ramos’ dog, via Twitter, 11-24-2017

“Sports Illustrated called and said I was probably going to be Sportsman of the Year, but it was going to take a long photo shoot and interview. I’m not proud of my recent perm and have a interpretive dance class at the interview time so I turned it down! No thanks SI!” — Noah Sydergaard, pitcher for the New York Mets, via Twitter, 11-25-2017

“The Republican National Committee called and said I was PROBABLY going to be their next Chairperson, but I would have to commit to supporting a ‘president’ who is a sexual predator and endorses pedophiles for the Senate. I said probably was no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!” — Charles Clymer, via Twitter, 11-25-2017

“The folks at @NASA called and said I was PROBABLY going to be the next resident of the International Space Station, but I would have to commit to supersonic flight training and wear a big round helmet. I said probably was no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!” — Joy Reid, via Twitter, 11-24-2017

NDofPD Plus 34

“Steve Bannon … has declared … Trump is “manically focused” on fulfilling his campaign pledges … “The mainstream media ought to understand something: all those promises are going to be implemented” … The Guardian, 23 February 2017

Ehhh, really? All of them? He’s going to release his tax returns? He did promise to do that, many times. Trump also promised to sell his business, and he promised that he wasn’t going to take any vacations or spend all his time golfing the way his predecessor did, because there was too much work to do. He’s already broken that last one, and he doesn’t seem too keen on keeping the other two, either, so forgive me if I’m a little skeptical when you say shit like he’s “manically focused” on keeping all his campaign promises.

NDofPD Plus 34

34 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

(Evening Edition)

This has got to be the best story of the day:

“Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) invoked the 2011 shooting of former Rep. Gabby Giffords (D-Ariz.) at a constituent event this week as a reason not to hold a public town hall. “Threats are nothing new to me and I have gotten my share as a felony judge. However, the House Sergeant at Arms advised us after former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot at a public appearance, that civilian attendees at Congressional public events stand the most chance of being harmed or killed.” The Hill, 23 February 2017

“Former Rep. Gabby Giffords is not going to put up with a cowardly Republican using her shooting to justify hiding from his constituents … “I was shot on a Saturday morning. By Monday morning my offices were open to the public. Ron Barber – at my side that Saturday, who was shot multiple times, then elected to Congress in my stead – held town halls. It’s what the people deserve in a representative … To the politicians who have abandoned their civic obligations, I say this: Have some courage. Face your constituents. Hold town halls.” Daily Kos, 23 February 2017

Gabby Giffords makes my day just about every time she’s in the news.

That’s enough smiling, though. Back to more of “How stupid can legislators make themselves look?”

“Rep. Mike Burgess (R-Texas), a doctor who sits on a House health subcommittee, [said] a reduction in the number of people with health insurance coverage shouldn’t be viewed as a negative. “If the numbers drop, I would say that’s a good thing,” Burgess said, “because we’ve restored personal liberty in this country, and I’m always for that.” Burgess seemed to imply that there are people who hate the idea of having health insurance but were forced to buy it because otherwise IRS agents would be “chasing [them] down” under the current law.” Mother Jones, 23 February 2017

Trump’s imigration policy has removed the safeguards that prevented the deportation of military spouses while soldiers were deployed:

“In 2013, President Obama, at the express request of the Defense Department, created a program for military families to prevent the deportation of military spouses, parents and children … This week, this administration rescinded the Parole in Place program, harming thousands of military families across the country … It is unconscionable to reverse a policy that strengthens our military and our veterans. That the program was not even named in the memo demonstrates either a lack of awareness, or worse, a casual disregard of the effect that this will have on those most vulnerable members of our military.” The New York Times, 22 February 2017

Still no investigation into Trump’s ties with Russia …

“Seeking to avoid a full House vote on the so-called “resolution of inquiry” – a roll call that would be particularly embarrassing and divisive for the right – Republicans will send proposal [to force the disclosure of President Donald Trump’s potential ties with Russia and any possible business conflicts of interest] by Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.) to the House Judiciary Committee for a panel vote on Tuesday, two Democratic sources said. The GOP-controlled committee is expected to kill the resolution.” Politico, 22 February 2017

 

NDofPD Plus 34

34 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

“Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

“Republican state senators voted Wednesday to give police new power to arrest anyone who is involved in a peaceful demonstration that may turn bad – even before anything actually happened. SB1142 expands the state’s racketeering laws, now aimed at organized crime, to also include rioting. And it redefines what constitutes rioting to include actions that result in damage to the property of others … By including rioting in racketeering laws, it actually permits police to arrest those who are planning events … The 17-13 party-line vote sends the bill to the House.” The Arizona Capitol Times, 22 February 2017

“Rep. Keith Kempenich introduced the North Dakota bill, which states that if a driver “unintentionally” causes injury or death to someone blocking traffic on a roadway, then the driver will not be liable for damages … In recent weeks legislatures in Minnesota, Indiana and Iowa have moved to add laws specifically targeting roadway blocking … in Minnesota … a Republican-led House committee passed a measure … that would allow local governments to sue criminally convicted protesters for law enforcement costs. … In Indiana, a lawmaker proposed a bill that would require officials to direct police to clear protesters from roadways by “any means necessary,” according to the Indianapolis Star. ” KTLA5, 26 January 2017

“House and Senate committees advanced bill that would make blocking highway traffic, airport access or public transit a gross misdemeanor, which requires jail time. Rep. Nick Zerwas, R-Elk River, who’s sponsoring the House bill, said some people wrongly believe that they have a right to shut down freeways. “If you block a freeway, you should go to jail,” he said.” Minnesota Public Radio, 22 February 2017

“Senate Bill 285, authored by Sen. James Tomes (R-Wadesville), would have required law enforcement to be dispatched within 15 minutes of a report of 10 or more protesters unlawfully blocking traffic. Those police would be required to “use any means necessary” to move those protesters out of the road. But lawmakers expressed serious concerns and amended the bill, striking “any means necessary” – virtually rewriting the bill. The new version creates an infraction for “mass traffic obstruction” and allows state police to help local law enforcement enforce it.” Indiana Public Media, 22 February 2017

“People who intentionally block traffic on Iowa highways could be charged with a felony punishable by up to five years in prison under an Iowa Senate bill co-sponsored by nine Republican lawmakers. Senate File 111 has been introduced in response to an incident in November when more than 100 protesters blocked Interstate Highway 80 in Iowa City, said Sen. Jake Chapman, R-Adel, the bill’s lead sponsor … Rep. Bobby Kaufmann, R-Wilton, plans to introduce his own version of the legislation in the House [which focuses] on those who organize protests intended to shut down highways.” The Des Moines Register, 23 January 2017

 

NDofPD Plus 33

33 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

“A federal civilian hiring freeze ordered by President Donald Trump has forced at least two Army bases to indefinitely suspend some child care programs. Officials at Fort Knox, Kentucky, notified families Feb. 17 of the suspension to the on-base part-day child development center (CDC) programs, its hourly care program and the enrollment of new families into the CDC. “We are prevented from bringing new caregivers on board but are still having our usual staff turnover and illnesses, which creates challenges to maintaining ratios and providing quality childcare,” the Fort Knox letter states. Officials at U.S. Army Garrison Wiesbaden, Germany, announced that all part-day programs will be suspended in a letter dated Feb. 22 but circulated Tuesday. Part-day programs at Wiesbaden will be suspended starting March 1, that letter states. That letter does not address hourly care or other CDC enrollment. “The closure is a result of staff shortage due to the federal hiring freeze,” says the letter, signed by Wiesbaden garrison commander Col. Todd Fish.” Military.com, 21 February 2017

“President Donald Trump’s sweeping crackdown on immigrants in the country illegally will strain an already tight U.S. job market, with one study suggesting that removing all of them would cost the economy as much as $5 trillion over 10 years. That represents the contribution of the millions of unauthorized workers to the world’s largest economy, about 3 percent of private-sector gross domestic product, according to a recent paper issued by the National Bureau of Economic Research. There were about 8 million immigrants in the U.S. illegally working or looking for work in 2014, with California, Texas and New York accounting for the largest share of the workforce, according to Pew Research Center estimates. Most of them are likely to be of working age, which makes them about 5 percent of the U.S. labor force and 3.5 percent of the total U.S. population. The Chicago Tribune, 22 February 2017

“Buried deep in the Trump administration’s plans to round up undocumented immigrants is a provision certain to enrage Mexico — new authority for federal agents to deport anyone caught crossing the southern border to Mexico, regardless of where they are from. If present immigration trends continue, that could mean the United States would push hundreds of thousands of Guatemalans, Hondurans, Salvadorans, Brazilians, Ecuadorans, even Haitians into Mexico. Currently, such people are detained in the U.S. and allowed to request asylum. President Trump wants them to do so from Mexico, communicating via videoconference calls with U.S. immigration officials from facilities that Mexico would presumably be forced to build.” Pro Publica, 20 February 2017

“President Trump could issue new guidelines as early as Wednesday to rescind anti-discrimination protections for transgender students, overruling his education secretary who had pushed to keep them in place. “I would expect further guidance to come out on that today,” Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary, said, declining to provide specifics. Mr. Trump, he added, is “a firm believer in states’ rights.” Mr. Spicer declined to discuss details of a rift on the issue between Betsy DeVos, the secretary of education, and Jeff Sessions, the attorney general, who was adamant that the administration move quickly to reverse an order from the Obama administration that allowed transgender students to use the restroom of their gender identity. The New York Times, 22 Feb 2017

“A bill in the Iowa Senate seeks to achieve greater political diversity among professors at the state’s Board of Regents universities. Senate File 288 would institute a hiring freeze until the number of registered Republicans and Democrats on the university faculty fall within 10 percent of each other. “I’m under the understanding that right now they can hire people because of diversity,” said the bill’s author, Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa. “(Students) should be able to go to their professors, ask opinions, and they should know publicly whether that professor is a Republican or Democrat.” The Des Moines Register, 20 February 2017

“The Trump administration on Wednesday revoked federal protections for transgender students who sought the right to use the public school restrooms that match their gender identity, taking a stand on a contentious issue that has become the central battle over LGBT rights. Officials with the federal Education and Justice departments notified the U.S. Supreme Court late Wednesday that the administration is ordering the nation’s schools to disregard memos the Obama administration issued during the past two years regarding transgender student rights. … gay and transgender rights advocates … accused President Trump of violating past promises to support gay and transgender protections. “Attacking our children … is no way to say you support and respect LGBTQ people,” said Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality.” The Washington Post, 22 February 2017

 

NDofPD Plus 32

32 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

“We will follow two simple rules: BUY AMERICAN & HIRE AMERICAN!” Donald Trump, via Twitter, 20 January 2017

“The Trump Winery, also known as Trump Vineyard Estates, LLC, is asking to bring in 23 workers this spring to plant and harvest grapes. The workers are being sought under the federal H-2 visa program, which permits American employers to hire foreign laborers under temporary work visas as long as no qualified US workers want the jobs.” Buzzfeed, 16 Feb 2017

“Trump has vowed repeatedly to clamp down on immigration and make jobs available for Americans. But Trump’s various businesses have been granted approval to hire at least 1,256 foreign guest workers over the last 15 years …

“Most of the requests for foreign workers were for the Mar-a-Lago Club … In the past 10 years, 849 foreign guest workers were approved to work at the resort, mostly as servers, cooks, housekeepers or similar positions.

“Trump has said publicly that he has turned to foreign workers when his businesses cannot find Americans to take the jobs he is looking to fill. “You cannot get help during the season. The season goes from like October to March. It’s almost impossible to get help,” Trump said during the campaign, when asked why Mar-a-Lago hired foreign guest workers. “And part of the reason you can’t get American people is they want full time jobs.”

“Records show Mar-a-Lago appears to have done the bare minimum required by law to advertise the jobs to U.S. workers … [they] did not place advertisements in the area’s largest newspaper. Instead, ads were placed in a local paper with a small circulation. Additionally, the ads were routinely posted for just two days, the minimum required by law.CNN, 22 December 2016

“Homeland Security Secretary John F. Kelly has signed sweeping new guidelines that empower federal authorities to more aggressively detain and deport illegal immigrants inside the United States and at the border. In a pair of memos, Kelly offered more detail on plans for the agency to hire thousands of additional enforcement agents, expand the pool of immigrants who are prioritized for removal, speed up deportation hearings and enlist local law enforcement to help make arrests. The new directives would supersede nearly all of those issued under previous administrations … aimed at focusing deportations exclusively on hardened criminals and those with terrorist ties.” The Washington Post, 21 Feb 2017

“President Trump denounced anti-Semitism Tuesday after coming under pressure to address an uptick in incidents targeting Jewish institutions across the U.S. “Anti-Semitism is horrible and it’s going to stop and it has to stop,” Trump told MSNBC during a tour of the National Museum of African American History and Culture.” The Hill, 21 Feb 2017

“This tour was a meaningful reminder of why we have to fight bigotry, intolerance and hatred in all of its very ugly forms,” Trump said Tuesday, delivering brief remarks after visiting the National Museum of African American History and Culture for the first time. “The anti-Semitic threats targeting our Jewish community and community centers are horrible and are painful and a very sad reminder of the work that still must be done to root out hate and prejudice and evil.” Politico, 21 Feb 17

“The most egregious claim Spicer made – a claim he made over the weekend, too – is that Trump has been “very forceful with his denunciations” and that “no matter how many times he talks about this that it’s never good enough.” … Rarely did [Trump] explicitly condemn racist or anti-Semitic behavior, choosing instead to defend himself or distance himself from those acts. … the first main problem for Trump [is]: He has consistently been squishy about replying to questions about racism and anti-Semitism. … The second problem? Many of his policy proposals – on immigration, for example – overlap with the stated aims of racist groups, and the rationalizations for those proposals often use language that reinforces negative or erroneous claims about minority groups.” The Washington Post, 21 Feb 2017

“On Monday, the Anti-Defamation League reported a wave of bomb threats directed against Jewish Community Centers in multiple states, the fourth series of such threats this year. More than 170 Jewish gravestones were toppled at a cemetery in Missouri over the weekend. Calls for Trump to condemn the violence had been growing. … Trump was offered an opportunity to condemn the rising violence at a new conference Thursday. In response to an invitation by a reporter to do so, Trump called the question “insulting” … Earlier in the week … Trump was asked about rising anti-Semitic violence across the country and started his answer by talking about the size of his electoral college victory in the fall. Trump said he wants to heal “a divided nation,” but did not explicitly condemn the spate of violence.” The Washington Post, 21 Feb 2017

 

NDofPD Plus 31

31 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

“[I]t costs $500,000 per day for nearly 200 police officers to protect Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, which houses the Trump family business headquarters and serves as the home of the first lady, Melania Trump, and the couple’s son, Barron … the cost could rise to as much as $183m annually … officials in Palm Beach said the cost of hosting the president at his Mar-a-Lago estate amounted to $60,000 a day for police overtime … Lantana, the small airport near Mar-a-Lago, is closed for business during the president’s trips. A banner-flying company operating from there told the Chicago Tribune it has lost more than $40,000 in contracts.” The Guardian, 20 February 2017

“On Friday, President Trump and his entourage will jet for the third straight weekend to a working getaway at his oceanfront Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Fla. On Saturday, Trump’s sons Eric and Don Jr., with their Secret Service details in tow, will be nearly 8,000 miles away in the United Arab Emirates, attending the grand opening of a Trump-brand golf resort in the “Beverly Hills of Dubai.” Meanwhile, New York police will keep watch outside Trump Tower in Manhattan, the chosen home of first lady Melania Trump and son Barron. And the tiny township of Bedminster, N.J., is preparing for the daunting prospect that the local Trump golf course will serve as a sort of northern White House for as many as 10 weekends a year … [T]he unusually elaborate lifestyle of America’s new first family is straining the Secret Service and security officials, stirring financial and logistical concerns in several local communities, and costing far beyond what has been typical for past presidents. … Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw said Trump’s 25 days in the county since the election have cost local taxpayers about $60,000 a day in overtime police payments. Local officials said the U.S. Coast Guard has run round-the-clock shoreline patrols alongside Mar-a-Lago when the president is in town. A Coast Guard spokesman declined to share costs or specifics, citing security concerns.”The Washington Post, 16 February 2017

 

NDofPD Plus 30

30 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

(Morning Edition)

“Jeffrey Medford, a small-business owner in South Carolina, voted reluctantly for Donald Trump … Mr. Medford should be a natural ally for liberals trying to convince the country that Mr. Trump was a bad choice. But it is not working out that way. Every time Mr. Medford dips into the political debate – either with strangers on Facebook or friends in New York and Los Angeles – he comes away feeling battered by contempt and an attitude of moral superiority. “We’re backed into a corner,” said Mr. Medford, 46, whose business teaches people to be filmmakers. “There are at least some things about Trump I find to be defensible. But they are saying: ‘Agree with us 100 percent or you are morally bankrupt. You’re an idiot if you support any part of Trump.’ ” He added: “I didn’t choose a side. They put me on one.” The New York Times, 19 February 2017

What the hell is wrong with this guy? Is he totally spineless? Has he got no self-determination at all? Nobody put him on a side. Nobody put me on a side. If he’s on a side, if I’m on a side, it’s because we chose to be there. We may have made the wrong choice, but for Christ’s sake, own it. Own up to your beliefs. Stand on your principles. Don’t whine about how the mean old liberals or conservatives or whoever made you do it.

“The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation is pursuing at least three separate probes relating to alleged Russian hacking of the U.S. presidential elections … The FBI’s Pittsburgh field office, which runs many cyber security investigations, is trying to identify the people behind breaches of the Democratic National Committee’s computer systems … Those breaches, in 2015 and the first half of 2016, exposed the internal communications of party officials as the Democratic nominating convention got underway and helped undermine support for Hillary Clinton. Meanwhile the bureau’s San Francisco office is trying to identify the people who called themselves “Guccifer 2” and posted emails stolen from Clinton campaign manager John Podesta’s account … Those emails contained details about fundraising by the Clinton Foundation and other topics. Beyond the two FBI field offices, FBI counterintelligence agents based in Washington are pursuing leads from informants and foreign communications intercepts.” Reuters, 18 February 2017

 

NDofpD Plus 29

29 days since the National Day of Patriotic Devotion

(Extra!)

“At Orlando Melbourne International Airport in Florida, Trump addressed a hangar packed with supporters in an event organized not by the White House but by Trump’s own campaign committee. “I’m here because I want to be among my friends and among the people,” Trump told the enthusiastic crowd before running through a long list of campaign promises and what he said were his administration’s early accomplishments.” National Public Radio, 18 February 2017

“Trump used [Air Force One] to stage a dramatic arrival at a hangar filled with 9,000 of his supporters. For 45 minutes, Trump basked in the glow of the love of those who still believe in him and who interrupted him with adoring applause nearly 100 times. He reiterated his campaign promises, bragged about things he has already done, blamed Obama for leaving him with “a mess like you wouldn’t believe,” denounced the “fake news” media, pulled a fan onto the stage, referenced a terrorist attack in Sweden the night before that didn’t happen, and compared himself to Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson and Abraham Lincoln.” The Washington Post, 18 February 2017

“Swedes reacted with confusion, anger and ridicule on Sunday to a vague remark by President Trump that suggested that something terrible had occurred in their country. During a campaign-style rally on Saturday in Florida, Mr. Trump issued a sharp if discursive attack on refugee policies in Europe, ticking off a list of places that have been hit by terrorists. “You look at what’s happening,” he told his supporters. “We’ve got to keep our country safe. You look at what’s happening in Germany, you look at what’s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden, who would believe this?” Nothing particularly nefarious happened in Sweden on Friday – or Saturday, for that matter – and Swedes were left baffled.” The New York Times, 19 February 2017

Video and full transcript of Trump’s speech, via Vox.com