Category: random idiocy
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how to buy my vote
Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander said on NPR this morning that everyone who paid taxes last year ought to receive stock in General Motors in order to get the federal government “out of the automobile business.” This is what’s wrong with the federal government. Dorkwads like Alexander think we want them to shower us with shit.… Read.
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cheese!
Remember photo booths? Plunk a buck and a half’s worth of quarters in the slot, climb into the crowded booth with every single one of the people you were out drinking with and poke each other in the eye while the flash went off at the worst-timed moments. Three minutes later the machine barfed up… Read.
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biomutants
I am me. He is Rick. The other he is Jim. We are the Biomutants. We’re wearing pillow cases for shirts. I made the emblems by cutting a stencil out of card paper and spray painting the designs on. With spray paint. From a can. I don’t know what we were supposed to be about,… Read.
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santa penguin
When you see a pair of toy penguins in Santa hats in the window of Grampa’s Gun Shop you’ve just got to stop and snap a photo. I think you do, anyway. Read.
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the final frontier
Our regular Saturday stop at St Vincent de Paul’s thrift store yielded only a few treasures this week. My Darling B didn’t find one old platter or kitchen gadget that caught her fancy. I, on the other hand, found a little treasure called The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Space. I’ve got so many books about manned… Read.
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great googly moogly!
Although I would love nothing more than to apply for this internship so I could sit around in my socks all day living the science-fiction porn fantasy that’s been playing in my head since I was a teenager (did that conjure up mental images you never wanted in your head? You’re welcome), I don’t think… Read.
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pants pants pants squirrel!
Well, I did it again. I washed my pants last night and forgot to put them in the dryer this morning after I finished setting up the coffee pot. The whole time I’m in the shower I’m thinking to myself, “Pants in the dryer, pants in the dryer…,” and the whole time I’m drying myself… Read.
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nasal astronaut
Yes, that’s a posable astronaut doll and he is picking my nose. The only explanation I can offer is that, when our family packed up our truck-top camper every Christmas to leave the frozen north on our annual vacation to southern climes, my brother and I would ride in the part of the camper over… Read.
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wayback week
My brother Pete declared that this week would be Wayback Week and challenged all his Facebooking friends to replace their profile picture with photos of themselves from way back in the day. Here’s what I came up with last night. It’s from the first time I was stationed in England, but I don’t remember any… Read.
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toldja so
Aha! I was right! For years I’d listened to people tell me I should ditch the eyeglasses by letting the doctor shoot a laser into my eye, and the first thought that did not enter my head was, “Well, it must be safe or the doctors wouldn’t do it, right?” Because, y’know, they would have… Read.
