Category: random idiocy

  • great googly moogly!

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    Although I would love nothing more than to apply for this internship so I could sit around in my socks all day living the science-fiction porn fantasy that’s been playing in my head since I was a teenager (did that conjure up mental images you never wanted in your head? You’re welcome), I don’t think Read.

  • pants pants pants squirrel!

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    Well, I did it again. I washed my pants last night and forgot to put them in the dryer this morning after I finished setting up the coffee pot. The whole time I’m in the shower I’m thinking to myself, “Pants in the dryer, pants in the dryer…,” and the whole time I’m drying myself Read.

  • nasal astronaut

    Yes, that’s a posable astronaut doll and he is picking my nose. The only explanation I can offer is that, when our family packed up our truck-top camper every Christmas to leave the frozen north on our annual vacation to southern climes, my brother and I would ride in the part of the camper over Read.

  • wayback week

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    My brother Pete declared that this week would be Wayback Week and challenged all his Facebooking friends to replace their profile picture with photos of themselves from way back in the day. Here’s what I came up with last night. It’s from the first time I was stationed in England, but I don’t remember any Read.

  • toldja so

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    Aha! I was right! For years I’d listened to people tell me I should ditch the eyeglasses by letting the doctor shoot a laser into my eye, and the first thought that did not enter my head was, “Well, it must be safe or the doctors wouldn’t do it, right?” Because, y’know, they would have Read.

  • David Alexander

    I got what must have been the very worst prank phone call I’ve ever answered in my life. Not annoying, rude or obscene, just a really, really dumb crank call. The phone rang at about ten-thirty. My Darling B will let it ring and ring because most of the phone calls we get are salesmen, Read.

  • old codger

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    I have officially become a codger: I took delivery of my recliner today. It’s even called a “Lounge-O-Matic.” If that’s not codgerish, I don’t know what is. It immediately cast its spell over me; I wrote this drivel while reclined in its lounge-o-riffic embrace. When we first began shopping for what we call “grown-up furniture” Read.

  • sports agnostic

    Apparently the Milwaukee Brewers (that’s baseball, right?) traded a player to, well, another team … I forget which. I heard about it only because a guy was trying to explain it to me in the break room at work yesterday and he didn’t get the signal that he was speaking to a sports agnostic. Under Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend