This Is Drivel

Category: daily drivel

  • this cold

    I went for a walk this afternoon. It was THIS COLD outside. Read.

  • build a fire

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    I suffered an especially painful case of dry-eye last night and when I told My Darling B about it, she said, “Maybe you need a humidifier in the bedroom.” What I heard her say was, “Maybe you need to make a fire in the bedroom.” When she says something that doesn’t make any sense at… Read.

  • flat

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    I just saw a car drive past our house on a flat tire. The front right tire was flat flat flat. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to do that. I can’t imagine why anyone would do that. I wouldn’t do that unless I was being pursued by ravenous beasts. Even in this weather (the… Read.

  • lyric

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    aw, shit. It’s “come on, eileen tah loo rye yay,” not “come on, eileen tah roo lah ray.” I’ve been singing it wrong all these years. So embarrassing. Read.

  • eyes

    I woke up this morning from a dream in which a doctor was telling me, “We’ll have to remove your eyeballs. Can you come in this afternoon?” And I was like, “Uhh, can I have just a moment to absorb this please?” Then I woke up and, because it was five o’clock in the morning… Read.

  • failing

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    All on January 22nd, 2023: Monterey, CA: 1 man killed 10 people & wounded 10 more Baton Rouge, LA: 1 man wounded 12 people Shreveport, LA: 1 man wounded 5 adults and 8 children; 2 are in critical condition. Read.

  • insleep

    I finally got to sleep in this morning! “Sleep in” being a relative term, of course. At my age, apparently “sleep in” means anything after 6:30 AM. As long as I go to bed any time before midnight, six and a half hours of sleep feels rested now. It’s weird, but that’s where I’m at.… Read.

  • egg noodles

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    My Darling B sent me out to get egg noodles. I don’t know what egg noodles are. “They’re wide and flat and curly,” she explained. “They’re flat and curly?” “Yes. They’re flat. But they’re curly.” I couldn’t even imagine what that looked like. “How wide are they? An inch wide? Three-quarters of an inch?” “They’re… Read.

  • distribution

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    I’m grateful that legal holidays are mostly on Mondays and Fridays to give us long weekends. Now can we work on the way they’re distributed across the calendar? We’ve got a holiday at the end of September, another at the end of December, one at the beginning of January and another two weeks later in… Read.

  • mulligan

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    “Would you live your life over again if you could?” I get that I’m supposed to say “yes” as a way of expressing the feeling that I have no regrets, but this is a dumb question no matter how you slice it. If I could live my life over but I wouldn’t know that I… Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend