This Is Drivel

Category: daily drivel

  • build a fire

    , , ,

    I suffered an especially painful case of dry-eye last night and when I told My Darling B about it, she said, “Maybe you need a humidifier in the bedroom.” What I heard her say was, “Maybe you need to make a fire in the bedroom.” When she says something that doesn’t make any sense at Read.

  • flat

    ,

    I just saw a car drive past our house on a flat tire. The front right tire was flat flat flat. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to do that. I can’t imagine why anyone would do that. I wouldn’t do that unless I was being pursued by ravenous beasts. Even in this weather (the Read.

  • lyric

    , ,

    aw, shit. It’s “come on, eileen tah loo rye yay,” not “come on, eileen tah roo lah ray.” I’ve been singing it wrong all these years. So embarrassing. Read.

  • eyes

    I woke up this morning from a dream in which a doctor was telling me, “We’ll have to remove your eyeballs. Can you come in this afternoon?” And I was like, “Uhh, can I have just a moment to absorb this please?” Then I woke up and, because it was five o’clock in the morning Read.

  • failing

    , ,

    All on January 22nd, 2023: Monterey, CA: 1 man killed 10 people & wounded 10 more Baton Rouge, LA: 1 man wounded 12 people Shreveport, LA: 1 man wounded 5 adults and 8 children; 2 are in critical condition. Read.

  • insleep

    I finally got to sleep in this morning! “Sleep in” being a relative term, of course. At my age, apparently “sleep in” means anything after 6:30 AM. As long as I go to bed any time before midnight, six and a half hours of sleep feels rested now. It’s weird, but that’s where I’m at. Read.

  • egg noodles

    , , ,

    My Darling B sent me out to get egg noodles. I don’t know what egg noodles are. “They’re wide and flat and curly,” she explained. “They’re flat and curly?” “Yes. They’re flat. But they’re curly.” I couldn’t even imagine what that looked like. “How wide are they? An inch wide? Three-quarters of an inch?” “They’re Read.

  • distribution

    ,

    I’m grateful that legal holidays are mostly on Mondays and Fridays to give us long weekends. Now can we work on the way they’re distributed across the calendar? We’ve got a holiday at the end of September, another at the end of December, one at the beginning of January and another two weeks later in Read.

  • mulligan

    , ,

    “Would you live your life over again if you could?” I get that I’m supposed to say “yes” as a way of expressing the feeling that I have no regrets, but this is a dumb question no matter how you slice it. If I could live my life over but I wouldn’t know that I Read.

  • defenders

    ,

    “Since we first spoke with Kurt Klomberg, he resigned as the Dodge County district attorney. Klomberg sent an email to colleagues announcing he was stepping down as of January 13th, and heartbroken over the collapse of the Dodge County prosecutor’s office after retirements, resignations, and no new full-time attorneys accepting positions.” [Klomberg:] “That left me Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend