Category: daily drivel
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sheeple
Chem trails. One of the cab drivers we ran into in San Diego spent fifteen minutes or so telling us about how chem trails were controlling the weather over the city. Have you ever heard of this conspiracy theory? When weather conditions are right, trails of water vapor condense behind aircraft. Some nutjobs think these… Read.
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Hari cool
Here’s a somewhat strange, wonderful, cool thing that happened to me just thing morning: I was flipping through my Facebook notifications while waiting for the coffee to brew and among the usual likes and comments from my more familiar Facebook friends I saw one in particular that stood out: Hari Kondabolu liked one of my… Read.
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buggy
I just got over a pretty nasty bug that seemed to be hitting just about everybody I worked with. One after another, my coworkers would drop out of sight for a day or two and when they came back, they had tales of a ‘stomach flu’ that kept them on their toes. Some of them… Read.
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toast
I dropped a piece of toast on the floor this morning, bobbling it in midair as I was transferring it from the toaster to my plate. Picked it up, waved it around a bit, blew the germs, and trusted that the 5-second took care of the most deadly pathogens. Buttered it, cut it in half, but… Read.
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like wow
And now, a few words from the American president, Donald Trump: Now that Russian collusion, after one year of intense study, has proven to be a total hoax on the American public, the Democrats and their lapdogs, the Fake News Mainstream Media, are taking out the old Ronald Reagan playbook and screaming mental stability and… Read.
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booger
While I was taking a shower the other day I sneezed and a two inch long greyish-black booger came shooting out of my nose and landed in the far end of the bathtub. I actually felt it pop out, as if a chunk of my head suddenly broke off, and I watched it go flying… Read.
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pro bono
I dreamed a friend asked me to be the official photographer at his wedding. I said sure, I’d be honored. Then my friend asked another guy to also be the official wedding photographer. Not only that, he paid the other guy 500 dollars. When I asked my friend why the other guy got 500 dollars,… Read.
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shiver me timbers
If the furnace goes out today, I just want to say it’s been nice, because that’ll be the end of me. The rescue team will probably find me frozen solid in my chair at this keyboard, icicles dangling from my eyebrows like Jack Torrence. I’m not even going to try to get to the corner… Read.
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abashed
I had to look up the word “unabashed” today. My dictionary told me the definition of “unabashed” was “not abashed,” which is Webster’s way of saying, “look up the word ‘abash,’ you dolt.” Abash: to destroy the self-possession or self-confidence of; disconcert; see embarrass So not only was Webster’s telling me to look up “abash,”… Read.
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dumb shit about santa
I’m seeing a whole lot of dumb shit about Santa on the internet: Worst was a explanation for how Santa visits so many houses in a single night. Explanation included a lot of noise about velocity and crap you would have heard in physics class if you’d been paying attention. (Props to anybody who was… Read.
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