“Welcome to Star Fleet!”
“Thanks! I’m really looking forward to boldly going to strange, new worlds and doing lots of science and adventure!”
“You’ll have to wear a uniform.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Here you go!”
“Where’s the rest of it?”
“What do you mean? That’s it.”
“This is a cocktail dress.”
“That’s the official Star Fleet uniform for women.”
“A cocktail dress?”
“It’s a combination tunic and skirt.”
“This isn’t a skirt, it’s a hand towel.”
“That’s why it comes with a pair of hot pants.”
“So my butt’s not popping out all the time?”
“Exactly!”
“And what do the men wear?”
“Trousers and a pullover.”
“Why not a toga?”
“That wouldn’t be very practical, would it?”
“A cocktail dress is practical?”
“It’s easy to wear. Understated. It doesn’t take up a lot of room in your wardrobe.”
“You’re not selling this as well as you think you are.”
“Look, do you want to be in Star Fleet or don’t you?”
“Fine, whatever. Does it at least come with a wrap or a stole or something to keep me warm?”
“Sorry, no. The captain likes to keep it simple.”
“Wait, which captain? Does this have anything to do with Kirk?”
“As a matter of fact, it does. One of his yeomen came up with it.”
“Well that just figures.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s kind of an open secret that Captain Behind-Pincher is one of the grabbiest officers in Star Fleet.”
“I don’t think there’s any cause for that kind of talk.”
“Sure you don’t. The horniest captain in Star Fleet isn’t making eye tracks all over your butt.”
This Is Drivel 