Category: random idiocy
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Ahhh
Ah, Saturday morning: When I can wake up at a reasonable hour, when I can lay in bed for a while after I wake up, when I can sit on the sofa with my morning coffee until I decide I’m ready to start the day. And even then, “start the day” means take a long, Read.
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AARP wannabe
AARP sends me an invitation to join their club about once a month and, to show they really mean it, they enclose a thick, plastic – but fake – AARP membership card. Some day I’ll stop shredding these things, but today, it’s confetti. I think because I’m officially retired from the Air Force, the Aid Read.
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stalking
Notice anything missing? I didn’t, until I got to work yesterday. It was like that dream where you’re in a big crowd of people and you suddenly realize you’re wearing nothing but underwear. My coworkers were very understanding about it. All day long as I padded around the office I expected somebody to say something Read.
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bauble
It is an ashtray, but I haven’t taken up smoking. It’s an ashtray exactly like one my parents had for years and years. For all I know, Mom might still have it. Or, this might be that very ashtray. I was wandering the aisles of Saint Vincent de Paul’s thrift store on Willy Street when Read.
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monster
Here’s a photo for my Mom, who’s a little worried about me using a table saw. See that gadget in the middle of the board? That’s actually three separate gadgets, two of them made out of cold steel, that have the sole function of keeping my fingers away from the blade. I’m not saying it’s Read.
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how to buy my vote
Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander said on NPR this morning that everyone who paid taxes last year ought to receive stock in General Motors in order to get the federal government “out of the automobile business.” This is what’s wrong with the federal government. Dorkwads like Alexander think we want them to shower us with shit. Read.
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cheese!
Remember photo booths? Plunk a buck and a half’s worth of quarters in the slot, climb into the crowded booth with every single one of the people you were out drinking with and poke each other in the eye while the flash went off at the worst-timed moments. Three minutes later the machine barfed up Read.
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biomutants
I am me. He is Rick. The other he is Jim. We are the Biomutants. We’re wearing pillow cases for shirts. I made the emblems by cutting a stencil out of card paper and spray painting the designs on. With spray paint. From a can. I don’t know what we were supposed to be about, Read.
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santa penguin
When you see a pair of toy penguins in Santa hats in the window of Grampa’s Gun Shop you’ve just got to stop and snap a photo. I think you do, anyway. Read.
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the final frontier
Our regular Saturday stop at St Vincent de Paul’s thrift store yielded only a few treasures this week. My Darling B didn’t find one old platter or kitchen gadget that caught her fancy. I, on the other hand, found a little treasure called The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Space. I’ve got so many books about manned Read.
This Is Drivel 