Category: random idiocy
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lonely
These are two of the loneliest cell phones in the world. Before last night, these cells went everywhere with their owners, but that was before the smart phones came along. Now, they sit untouched on an end table, gathering dust while their owners download apps, tweet and play Angry Birds. Poor little cell phones. Read.
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poof
WASHINGTON D.C. (UPI) – Both houses of Congress worked through an all-night emergency session that began yesterday afternoon to pass sweeping legislation to bar Christians from holding public office, serving in the armed forces, carrying firearms or operating any kind of motor vehicle or aircraft. The legislation began as a bill introduced only yesterday afternoon… Read.
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fender
A fender washer is a circle of steel about the size of a half-dollar with a smallish hole in the middle. I had one in my collection. I needed four, so I pocketed the one as I got ready to jump into the O-mobile to head down the road so I could save big money… Read.
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Mighty Mouse
Who hasn’t needed this guy to save the day at least once in their lives? Read.
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Plexi
If you read nothing else today, you should devote fifteen minutes to Eyeball of Providence unless, providentially, you have an appointment tomorrow with a doctor who will slice your eyeballs open and you’re feeling at all anxious about it. … if you have to have cataract surgery and have not seen “Un Chien Andalou,” the… Read.
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what’s that smell?
With about fifteen minutes between chores this morning, I started folding clothes from a basket that’s been sitting on the floor in our bedroom all week, a common-enough sight in our house. We can wash clothes like the pros, we’re just not so good at folding them or putting them away. Sometimes we go a… Read.
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Monstrous Red Rain
In every movie I’ve ever seen about the war in Viet Nam, there’s always one scene where it’s raining like it’s never going to stop raining. That’s how it’s raining here today. If a visitor from another planet landed in my backyard today, he would nickname this planet Rain. Read.
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monstrous red blob
Not biking to work today. Woke up to thunder and was greeted by spotty rain drizzling down when I opened the front door to let the chipmunks tease the cats. And there was also a monstrous red blob coming in from the west on the satellite map when I checked the National Weather Service. I… Read.
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under effen wear
He was wearing jeans that were pulled all the way up to his waist and properly belted so there was no chance they were going to sag, ever. And over the jeans he wore triple-XL plaid boxer shorts. Oh yes. It can always get worse. Read.
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No, after you
Biking to work today, I slowed down at the spot where the bike trail crossed Blount because a Budweiser beer truck was coming up the road. He was moving pretty slow but I’m pretty slow sometimes too and I didn’t want to get smooshed like a bug, so I stopped. I had to wait a… Read.
