Category: random idiocy
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Kill Me Now
The song stuck in my head this morning is the saccharin-sweet teen ballad Loving You by Debbie Gibson Minnie Riperton. It’s been playing on a loop for hours. I want to die. Next-day edit: I eventually got this song out of my head without killing myself, but it came back the next day. Not only Read.
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this is your brain on drugs
Baby, The Rain Must Fall, the song in which Glenn Yarbrough uses weather as a metaphor to tell his gal why he wants to boink other women, has been playing on a loop in my head ALL FREAKIN’ DAY! Memory is a cruel thing. In thirty years I probably won’t be able to remember my Read.
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fiver
At the grocery store the other day, I walked in just as a guy was backing a shopping cart out of the rack and passing it to his daughter, who appeared to be about five years old. “There you go,” he told her, “get all the germs off.” The little girl obliged by taking a Read.
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how-to
How to make a baby… …the rest of the series at My Modern Met. Read.
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thoughtful chin stroke
With a thoughtful chin stroke, I proclaim the following: All public toilet stalls shall from this day forward be installed with big, red fire bells that shall clang and clang and clang until the users thereof shall flush their dookie, because yuck. War with Syria. What could go wrong? I mean, seriously, what could possibly Read.
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code red
Maybe I’m missing something … [Texas] state agencies described resistance from some fertilizer companies in trying to inspect their facilities. The Fire Marshal’s Office has identified 153 facilities in the state that are believed to store ammonium nitrate. Since Texas doesn’t have a state fire code, the fire marshal lacks the authority to conduct inspections Read.
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hothothot
Well, the temp is already 75 degrees at five o’clock in the morning, so the heat, how hot it is, and sweating like a pig is all anybody will be talking about today … Read.
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woodchoppers
While listening to a recording of “Jumpin’ At The Woodside” by Count Basie, I asked My Darling B, “Does this song make you think of a man with a paper bag on his head?” She looked at me like a puzzled puppy. “Gene, Gene, dancing machine!” I said, thinking that this would explain things. It Read.
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lonely
These are two of the loneliest cell phones in the world. Before last night, these cells went everywhere with their owners, but that was before the smart phones came along. Now, they sit untouched on an end table, gathering dust while their owners download apps, tweet and play Angry Birds. Poor little cell phones. Read.
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poof
WASHINGTON D.C. (UPI) – Both houses of Congress worked through an all-night emergency session that began yesterday afternoon to pass sweeping legislation to bar Christians from holding public office, serving in the armed forces, carrying firearms or operating any kind of motor vehicle or aircraft. The legislation began as a bill introduced only yesterday afternoon Read.
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