Category: random idiocy
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middle
Yesterday, for what I’m pretty sure was the first time ever at the office where I work now, someone stepped up to the middle urinal while I was at the right urinal and someone else was at the left urinal. I’m almost one-hundred percent positive that’s never happened there before. At least, not that I’ve… Read.
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longer
They said the days would get longer. Why is it still dark outside? Why aren’t the days getting longer? WHAT THE HELL? Sorry. I’ve been up half the night. I’ll probably be a little grumpy today. Also: I’m ready for it to stop raining. It’s been raining since November. I could stand a little less… Read.
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vape? not!
I don’t have an opinion one way or another about the practice of “vaping.” Huff and puff on whatever gets you off, it’s all the same to me. But “vape” is a dumb word. That, I have a definite opinion about. I won’t point at or ridicule you if you vape, but I will chortle… Read.
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intention
I meant to do that … Read.
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toboggan
For a couple years, my family lived in Marquette, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It snows there fourteen months out of the year, so everybody knew how to catch fish by cutting a hole in the ice, and every family owned at least one toboggan. I just love that word. I could say it… Read.
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kid world
The Toyota garage we take our car to for service appears to be staffed entirely by children. The guy who acted like he was in charge had to be in his early to mid twenties. If I had to guess based on the context, I’d peg him at twenty-four. If I had to guess after… Read.
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Fritos
All I needed was eight bags of Fritos, the snack-size bags that you can grab off the shelf at the gas station. I thought I could get them at the local Copps store down the corner because it’s just down the road and, well, because it’s a grocery store. Seemed like a no-brainer. But no… Read.
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handerpants
Um … Damn. Wish I’d thought of that. Read.
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a visit from the axe murderer
We had a visit from the axe murderer the other night. We were both very sure he was there. He creeps into our house every so often with his double-bladed war axe that drips with the blood of his victims, at least one of which he killed just minutes before he broke into our little… Read.
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godzilla bless autofill
The Seanster and I were exchanging giddy text messages about the latest movie teaser for the upcoming Godzilla movie. Turns out my phone not only knows how to spell “Godzilla” already, it autofills “Godzilla” after I type the first three letters, because obviously who would ever stop after typing just “God?” Read.
