Category: daily drivel
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meat raffle
My Darling B and I have wanted to visit a meat raffle ever since we heard about them several years ago. It seemed like such an odd thing to raffle off. Why would anybody buy tickets to a meat raffle? It would be like raffling, I don’t know, socks. We found our chance last weekend.… Read.
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kegle
The other day I peed my pants like a little boy and survived to tell the tale. It all started with breakfast at the Avenue Club, a venerable Madison supper club on East Washington Avenue. We went there to take advantage of their New Year’s unlimited pancake breakfast. They brought each of us two freshly-baked… Read.
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gumby
The hardest thing about growing old, or at least the stage of growing old that takes place in one’s 50s, is bending over. I think I can say that in all confidence. Lots of other things suck, too: eyesight’s getting fuzzy, hearing’s going bad, can’t remember the word I want to use, my nostrils are… Read.
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i gave them poop
I left a bag of poop on somebody’s desk. That’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. My Darling B even helped me. I asked her to get a ziplock bag for me and hold it open while I dumped poop into it. She did. So if I get thrown under the bus… Read.
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the weirdest tweets
For the longest time I would read Trump’s tweets, shake my head and think to myself, “Well, he can’t write one any weirder than that.” I still shake my head, but after reading a couple hundred of them, I’m a firm believer that he’ll always be able to write something more outrageous than the one… Read.
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centipedicide
I was downstairs the other night boxing up all the beer glasses that I’d put on display on a couple of shelves in the corner of the basement that I rather grandly refer to as the brewery, because the new kitten has the run of the house now and every ounce of him is dedicated… Read.
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mister yuck
We have to hide our bread. There’s something about the smell of bread that drives Scooter the Cat crazy enough to wrestle any bag of bread to the floor, tear it open and gnaw the loaf until there’s nothing left but crumbs. Not his most charming attribute. And by “hide” I mean we have to… Read.
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stupidity
Seems appropriate somehow: Stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice. One may protest against evil; it can be exposed and, if need be, prevented by use of force. Evil always carries within itself its own subversion in that it leaves behind in human beings at least a sense of unease. Against… Read.
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stinky
Oh my god this new cat sinks. Walking into his room is like being hit in the face with a fresh cow pat. The alchemy in his guts that turns water and kibble into mustard gas is something the military should probably check out. For many years, we have relied on our cats to tell… Read.
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ho-ho-ho
I got a ride to work on Friday morning with Becky, one of my coworkers. When we got on the elevator in our office building to go up to the eighth floor where we work, there was already a woman from the third floor in there and a portly man with a white beard who… Read.
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