Category: daily drivel
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father’s day
Tim brought me a bottle of Islay scotch for father’s day last weekend. He was a little embarrassed when he realized that Father’s Day was the weekend before last, but he brought me a bottle of scotch, so who am I to quibble? Read.
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Carver
There was an old Carver motor boat parked in the lot out front of a local auto supply store two weeks ago. Even though it was half-covered with a tarp, I recognized the make of the boat as we sped past at thirty miles per hour because Carver’s logo is unmistakably stylized; the oversized V… Read.
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a bad day
Did you have a bad day? Do you think so? Oh, no. No no no. Your worst day is barely a patch on the worst day the earth ever had. “The meteorite itself was so massive that it didn’t notice any atmosphere whatsoever,” said Rebolledo. “It was traveling 20 to 40 kilometers per second, 10… Read.
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air supply
“I’ve got a stupid Abba song stuck in my head,” I redundantly said to My Darling B the other morning. “The song stuck in my head is worse,” she answered. “I doubt that.” She began to sing: “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you, blah blah blah blah …” “Okay, yeah. That… Read.
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it’s been swell
The use of George Orwell’s name to describe changes in our country got quite a workout today: This morning, the chairwoman of the Republican National Committee tweeted, “Complacency is our enemy. Anyone that does not embrace the @realDonaldTrump agenda of making America great again will be making a mistake.” Then this afternoon we were all… Read.
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pull chain
We’ve been living in our little red house for almost fifteen years now, yet somehow My Darling B still can’t remember which pull chain turns on the overhead fan, cooling the muggy bedroom on a warm summer night, and which chain turns on the light, abruptly waking her dozing O-Man, who went to bed before… Read.
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summer wardrobe
Last Tuesday night, I bought a pair of pants that were not khaki, so if you felt the earth tremble at about six pm central time, that’s why. I have been a khaki-pants-wearing guy for about fifteen years. If I wasn’t wearing dress pants, I wore khakis. Haven’t owned a pair of jeans for so… Read.
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hedge trimmer
I bought my first hedge trimmer from a second-hand shop last weekend. The lilac bush out front was getting out of control and I was looking for a quick and easy way to get it back under control. Ideally, I would have preferred using explosives or, at the very least, FIRE, but ever since I… Read.
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laser peel
We heard an advertisement on the radio this morning from a local “health clinic” for a procedure they called a “laser peel,” which I had to google as soon as I got home to see if it’s a real thing. It is. Real people really pay real money to have a “health clinician” point a… Read.
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extremes
A song was playing on the radio as we drove into town this morning, with a refrain that went like this: I would climb every mountain I would swim every ocean Just to be with you Dude. Every mountain? Every ocean? I don’t know how to break this to you, but you’re going to be… Read.
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