Category: daily drivel

  • near miss

    I just ran across another one of those “asteroid passes uncomfortably close to earth” stories and I have to ask: Why are these stories nearly always written as if asking the question: Why keep track of asteroids when the so-called smart people are obviously crap at keeping the asteroids away from earth? But I know… Read.

  • switch

    I made some smartass comment about 65-year-old Dennis Quaid getting hitched to 26-year-old Laura Savoie, to which My Darling B replied, “Okay, so, say I poisoned you so I could marry a thirty-year-old …” “Just for the record,” I interrupted, “if you want to really want to marry a 30-year-old, please just ask. Don’t feel… Read.

  • toesies

    One of my coworkers brought her 6-week-old baby into the office for a visit and I suddenly remembered how wonderful baby toes are! Read.

  • beanbag

    , ,

    I was today years old when I learned that the game where you throw beanbags at a board with a hole in it is called “cornhole.” That is not a word I have heard used in polite company before. My father sometimes used that word, not in public, to refer to an act of sexual… Read.

  • making change

    I paid cash for my lunch at the grocery store the other day. Didn’t expect the high school guy at the register to count back my change the way cashiers used to, but I did expect him to be able to add up the values of the coins as he was making change, which he… Read.

  • Eric

    Gary introduced himself to me a few days after we moved to the new building. The office I worked in used to be on the eighth floor of the old building; Gary’s office used to be on the second floor. After the move we were not only both on the second floor, our offices are… Read.

  • nuggets

    I was cleaning out the litter boxes yesterday morning and dug up five or six little turd nuggets strung together on a long hair like they were pearls. I wanted to applaud. Read.

  • degenerate

    It’s not that I don’t have friends who have different beliefs or opinions. Everyone’s got those. It’s that I don’t have friends who have reprehensible beliefs or revolting opinions. I don’t have an ounce of regret about walking away from people like that. Read.

  • open sesame

    When I came home from my walk the other day, I dug into my pocket for my key ring, selected a key as I climbed the stoop to the front door, then depressed the “unlock” button on the ignition key for our car. From the garage, the car answered with two beeps. The front door… Read.

  • coin flip

    Mom called while I was out for a walk yesterday. I got to tell her how wonderful the weather was while I was out in it. I don’t know why that pleased me, but it did. Then we had a good laugh about the impeachment proceedings. Well, not a *good* laugh, actually. More like the… Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend