Lead paragraph of a story in The Irish Times: "Having a monarchy next door is a little like having a neighbour who's really into clowns and has daubed their house with clown murals, displays clown dolls in each window and has an insatiable desire to hear about and discuss clown-related news stories. More specifically, for the Irish, it's like having a neighbour who's really into clowns and, also, your grandfather was murdered by a clown."

For as long as I’ll live, I’ll never understand why Americans are so ga-ga over British royalty. I know people who set their alarms to wake up early so they could watch the coronation of King Charles today. I suppose it’s the same as being all wrapped up in celebrities like the Kardashians, but frankly I don’t understand that obsession, either.

Some people would point out that it’s the same as the way I’m obsessed with astronauts, to which I would rebut, uh, no, it isn’t, because astronauts actually do something. You may not be interested in what they do, you may actively dislike what they do, but they’re not getting paid just to be famous, which the royals certainly are.

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