When I first joined a virtual meeting this morning, I could hear everyone in the room, and everyone could hear me. Then something went kablooey and I couldn’t hear anything. “Hello?” called. “Can anybody hear me? Hello?” But got no response at all. Then I tried sending a message to the meeting organizer through chat. Still nothing. I even tried logging out of the meeting, then logging back in, but I still couldn’t hear a thing.

“What the hell’s wrong with this?” I grumbled as I checked all the settings to make sure I hadn’t accidentally switched something off. I continued to kvetch, “I can’t hear a goddamn thing,” and so on as I pulled down every option menu. “Piece of crap.”

Then the meeting organizer sent me a DM: “Dave. We can hear you.”

I stopped kvetching. “You can hear me?” I asked.

“Yes,” he DM’d, then added. “We’re trying to figure out what’s wrong.”

Pro tip: Always assume the mic is open and the camera is on.