suddenly

This garbage heap of grammatical errors was a huge hit as a pop song in the 1980s:

Sometimes I never leave, but sometimes I would
Sometimes I stay too long, sometimes I would
Sometimes it frightens me, sometimes it would
Sometimes I’m all alone and wish that I could
Until suddenly last summer
And then suddenly last summer

If you never leave, that’s called “staying.” You do it continuously. You never stop not leaving. And because you’re always doing it, you are, in effect, doing it just once. You couldn’t do it “sometimes.” If you were “staying” only “sometimes,” you would, by definition, have to leave occasionally.

Which might be what she’s getting at when she adds, “but sometimes I would.” Okay, fine, but then it’s “but sometimes I do.” Either that or the first part is “Sometimes I’d never leave,” which also doesn’t make any sense but at the very least it’s in the right tense. Keep your tenses straight, dammit. Same goes for the second and third lines!

“Sometimes I stay too long” seems a little bit redundant after saying “sometimes I never leave,” don’t you think? I do.

Not sure what frightens her. Never leaving? Or the very redundant staying too long? Something else? Maybe she could be a little more vague? I’m not a huge fan of ambiguity when it comes to pop songs.

“Sometimes I’m all alone” is pretty straightforward, but I have absolutely no freakin clue what she wishes she could. Do. Can’t even take a wild-ass guess. Maybe I’m missing something obvious but I think it’s more likely she’s trying to be mysterious by writing something open-ended and obtuse. Not a fan of that, either.

Speaking of mysterious:

One summer never ends, one summer never began
It keeps me standing still, it takes all my will
And then suddenly last summer

I mean, come on. If it never began, how does it never end? How does that make sense at all? I’m flummoxed.

All that being said, I still like this song. It’s got a really good sound and it reminds me of my college years. What’s not to love about that?