buying vacuums sucks

The last vacuum cleaner we bought cost us maybe a hundred fifty bucks. It was a Japanese-made canister vacuum and it did a great job up until it gave up the ghost several weeks ago. To find out how much I could expect to pay for a replacement, I did a quick online search and holy mother of god I wish I hadn’t done that. How is any vacuum cleaner worth more than a thousand bucks if it isn’t autonomous?

I’ll pay a lot of money for a dish washer or a clothes washer. A thousand bucks for either doesn’t seem like a lot, considering the work they’re saving me, and I’d easily pay double that for a self-cleaning toilet. I can’t believe people have been living in space stations for 48 years but I still have to kneel before a toilet and swab it out with a brush.

(To be fair, you can find many toilets that are called “self-cleaning” for which you will pay an extortionate amount of money, but none that I can find will physically scrub out their insides or wipe down their outsides. If I have to do either of those things, that’s not “self-cleaning” in my book.)

But I won’t pay a lot of money for a vacuum cleaner. I don’t know why. There’s this weird disconnect in my brain that makes me think vacuum cleaners shouldn’t cost more than, say, fifty bucks. Luckily I found one. It’s ugly as hell but I’m not paying for looks, I’m paying for utility, and the one I eventually bought sucks, but in a good way.

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