millenium

We’ve been watching “Star Trek Discovery,” which was a lot of fun the first season, somewhat less fun the second season, and not so much fun in the most current third season. I liked the first season a lot because the characters were fun and I was interested in seeing their growth from episode to episode. It seemed like they spent less time on character growth in the second season and more time on unpacking the mystery of the red angel. I would’ve liked to see more interaction between Michael Burnham and her mother, who was in quite a few of the episodes, but blah blah red angel blah blah. The third season so far has been one bar fight after another; it doesn’t interest me much, but I’ll stick with it to see if they get their shit together.

Things about the third season that shouldn’t bother me but really do:

At the end of Season Two, the crew of the Discovery went through a wormhole which catapulted them from the year 2255 to the year 3188. Everybody in 3188 still speaks English. All the words not only sound the same, they all have the same meaning. Nobody from 3188 ever says anything to the fossilized crew of the Discovery that makes them go “Huh?”

It was always kind of dumb that in the Star Trek universe almost all the aliens everywhere in the galaxy spoke English, but after 933 years you’d think there would have been a few changes. Pretty sure if somebody from England in the year 1087 knocked at my door right now, we wouldn’t be able to even guess at what we were saying to each other.

Having said that, I hate the Klingon language. Hate it. It takes them forever to say, “Pass the salt,” and they sound like cats horking on the living room carpet in slow motion. BLECH! MOCK! GLOOK! BLEEP! HORK! BLECH! TOOK! NORK!

The engines of all the starships in Star Fleet needed dilithium, a glowing rock they literally dug out of the ground. It was sort of their fossil fuel. 933 years later they still need the glowing rocks, which would be roughly comparable to depending on steam locomotives to get people from here to there in the year 2745. Seems like they would have made at least a little more progress than that in 933 years.

Michael Burnham wore her hair very short in the first two seasons. In Season Three, thanks to technobabble, a year elapses between the time she comes out of the wormhole and Discovery follows her. In the year she waits for her ride to show up, her hair grows halfway to her waist. I don’t think anybody’s hair grows that fast?

Philippa Georgiou keeps talking to Michael Burnham like they know each other, but they don’t because this Phillipa isn’t from Michael’s universe. She’s from the mirror universe, where there’s a person who looks like everybody in the prime universe but acts exactly the opposite — so if you’re a nice guy in the prime universe, you’re a sociopath in the mirror universe.

Mirror universe Phillipa is a sociopath but everyone, especially Michael, treats her like she could be a nice person, which is strange because Discovery’s previous captain, Gabriel Lorca, turned out to be a mirror universe sociopath who almost got Michael killed. She ought to know better. But no, she plays along with Philippa, bantering like they’re old buddies. It makes me grit my teeth.

Okay, things I like about the third season:

I still like Sylvia Tilly, BUT THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TILLY! WE NEED MORE TILLY! Oops, sorry. Started out positive but quickly went negative.

I like Saru. I have always liked Saru but he’s really growing on me now. Picard has always been my Star Trek captain but Saru is quickly gaining a lot of favor over Picard, especially after the catastrophe of the Picard series.

I like Cleveland Booker. Oddly, what I find most fascinating about him is he has Tim Curry’s face.

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