scammed

No matter how much Kim Jong Un insults Donald Trump, Trump is determined to have a meeting with Kim to make it look like he’s forcing Kim to give up his nuclear weapons, even though Kim will never give up so much as a single bomb without a fight. But the summit’s got to happen, to make Trump look like he’s doing something. And who’s going to pay for this dog and pony show? According to a story in The Washington Post this morning, we will:

At an island resort off the coast of Singapore, U.S. event planners are working day and night with their North Korean counterparts to set up a summit designed to bring an end to Pyongyang’s nuclear weapons program. But a particularly awkward logistical issue remains unresolved … Who’s going to pay for Kim Jong Un’s hotel stay?

The prideful but cash-poor pariah state requires that a foreign country foot the bill at its preferred lodging: the Fullerton, a magnificent neoclassical hotel near the mouth of the Singapore River, where just one presidential suite costs more than $6,000 per night.

When it comes to paying for lodging at North Korea’s preferred five-star luxury hotel, the United States is open to covering the costs … but it’s mindful that Pyongyang may view a U.S. payment as insulting. As a result, U.S. planners are considering asking the host country of Singapore to pay for the North Korean delegation’s bill.

Not only will we pay to set Kim Jong Un up as extravagantly as they require us to, we will also ask a proxy to pay the bill for us, because Kim would be insulted to take money directly from us. But wait! That’s not all!

Figuring out how to pay Pyongyang’s hotel tab won’t be the only unusual planning obstacle … the country’s underused Soviet-era aircraft may require a landing in China because of concerns it won’t make the 3,000 mile trip … alternatively, the North Koreans might travel in a plane provided by another country.

We’ll also send a plane to deliver them to their five-star accommodations, because their fossilized planes can’t make it all the way to Singapore without breaking down. I’m sure it’ll be the biggest plane with nothing but first-class seats from front to back.