The first 12 tweets I read this morning and my reactions to them, for no reason whatsoever:
@brookingsinst: “Empirical evidence rules out high and rising inequality as a cause of the Arab Spring uprisings. Was the Arab Spring a black-swan event?” I wish I knew more about the Arab Spring uprising, but my first thought is: When people take to the streets in large numbers, inequality is typically the motivator, so I distrusted this tweet immediately and I didn’t bother reading the linked report.
@AFP “Stephen Hawking’s funeral will take place in Cambridge, close to Gonville and Caius College where the British scientist worked for more than 50 years.” This tweet made me feel guilty because I still haven’t read A Brief History of Time. It’s been on my TBR pile for years, but I haven’t summoned up enough courage yet to dive in.
@chrishayes: “This is sci-fi-future-dystopia-level creepy” with a link to a YouTube video titled “Local TV forced to denouce ‘one-sided news’ by America’s largest media company” which shows local news anchors all parroting an identical disclaimer about biased reporting and a promise to do their best to be unbiased, now that they’re all owened by the Sinclair media group. I wasn’t especially creeped out by this because television news has been so sensational or so bland and has been reported by identical-looking Ken and Barbie bots for so long that I stopped watching it years ago. And the sci-fi dystopia? It’s here, Chris. We’re living in it.
@charlesbblow: “LOL…” followed by a link to a story in Cosmopolitan titled, “Stacey Dash Withdraws from California Congressional Race.” No reaction because I don’t know who Stacey Dash is or why her withdrawal from a congressional race would spark mirth in Charles M. Blow’s heart. Wait, I do have a reaction: I’m glad to see Charles M. Blow happy. He doesn’t LOL enough on Twitter.
@FoxNews: “A little girl celebrated finishing up two and a half years of chemotherapy treatment by ringing a special bell created for such purposes.” The tweet is accompanied by a photo of a child wearing a t-shirt with “I DID IT!” printed across the front and she is in fact ringing a brass bell, but there is no link to a story. It’s just a bit of fluff you’re supposed to re-tweet or favorite because who doesn’t like good news about kids? And a re-tweet or a favorite puts the FoxNews icon in more Twitter feeds, or is that being too cynical? I don’t think so. I think lazy fluff like this deserves the full force of my cynicism. You’re welcome.
@iwriteallday: “I am still laughing about this” followed by three laughing emojis and a retweeted story from the New York Post, “JUST IN: @PageSix sources confirm Sanaa Lathan was the actress who bit Beyonce.” I’ve seen this story referenced many dozens of times over the past couple of days but apparently I am not enough of a Beyonce fan to understand why it would be funny that someone bit her.
@aravosis: “Retweet if you’d like to know whether the @NRA has been coopted by Vladimir Putin.” I would, but I frankly doubt that retweeting this tweet will satisfy my curiosity. I did not retweet.
@chicagotribune: “Man in wheelchair robbed of cellphone at Blue Line station on Near West Side” with a link to a story titled “Man accused of robbing man in …” and what looks like a mug shot. Is it a mug shot of the robber? Don’t know, didn’t click on the link because if I read every story about every petty theft in Chicago, I’d lose my mind.
@thedweck: “‘Taylor!’ *everyone turns around*” and a retweet of a post from @phillipindc: “The White House has released this photo of Trump with White House spring interns. Diversity this ain’t.” Of the 91 interns, two appear to be African-American and one, maybe two could be Asian (it’s a very small photo, so it’s hard to tell). Is it unusual that the two African-Americans are together in the corner?
@cmclymer: “When you put on pantyhose and don’t realize until 10 minutes into the ride to your destination that there’s a hole in the calf. How did I miss that?” I can’t speak to the pantyhose thing, never having worn them, but I’ve gone all morning with my underpants on backwards and noticed only after I hunted around for the fly for a solid minute on my potty break.
@zachweiner: “Dance like no one is looking! *dances while shoplifting*” No reaction. Just repeating it here because I thought it was funny.
@ppppolls: “He won Vice President twice Irene I hope that doesn’t trigger you” in response to a tweet from @obzerve51: “that poll is the stupidest god damn thing I have ever seen. Biden could not win dog catcher.” I get such a kick out of snark when it’s so obviously deserved, even needed. I mean, a statement like “Biden could not win dog catcher” is so stupidly false that it begs for snark.