suck up

Mike Pence is a colossal suck-up.  But don’t take my word for it: Here he is, in his own words, sucking up like the suckingest thing that ever sucked:

Trump: Mike, would you like to say a few words?

Pence: I appreciate it, Mr. President. As I told you last night, shortly after the Senate vote: I know I speak on behalf of the entire cabinet, and millions of Americans, when I say congratulations and thank you, thank you for seeing, through the course of this year, an agenda that truly is restoring this country. You described it very well, Mr. President: from the outset of this administration, we’ve been rebuilding our military, putting the safety and security of the American people first; you’ve restored American credibility on the world stage; we’re standing with our allies; we’re standing up to our enemies.  But you promised economic renewal at home.  You said we could  make this economy great again, and you promised to roll back regulations, and you signed more bills rolling back federal red tape than any American president in history. You’ve unleashed American energy, you’ve spurred an optimism in this country that’s setting records, but you promised the American people in that campaign a year ago that you would deliver historic tax cuts and it would be a middle-class miracle, and in just a short period of time that promise will be fulfilled.  And I just I’m deeply humbled, as your vice president, to be able to be here.  Because of your leadership, Mr. President, and because of the strong support of the leadership  in the congress of the United States, you’re delivering on that middle class miracle.  You’ve actually got the congress to do, as you said, what they couldn’t do with ANWR for forty years.  You’ve got the congress to do with tax cuts for working families and American businesses what they haven’t been able to do for thirty-one years.  And you got congress to do what they couldn’t do for seven years in repealing the individual mandate in Obamacare.  I know you would have me also acknowledge the people around this table, Mr. President.  I want to thank the leaders in congress once again for their partnership in this.  I want to thank your outstanding team: your secretary of the treasury, Steven Mnuchin; for Gary Cohen; for Ivanka Trump; for your great legislative team; all the members of this cabinet who partnered to drive your vision forward over the past six months after you laid out that vision for tax reform.  But mostly, Mr. President, I’ll end where I began: I want to thank you, Mr. President.  I want to thank you for speaking on behalf of, and fighting every day for the forgotten men and women of America. Because of your determination, because of  your leadership, the forgotten men and women of America are forgotten no more, and we are are making America great again. Thank you, Mr. President, and God bless you.

Trump: Thank you, Mike, that was very nice, I appreciate that, thank you.

That is some primo ass-kissing right there. I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t roll their eyes at a display of brown-nosing as obvious and ham-fisted as that. And the whole time Pence was groveling, Trump sat with his arms folded tightly across his chest, clearly channeling Benito Mussolini.