Surrogate

So the umpty-millionth congressman, and so far they have all been men, has decided to resign effective immediately from that august body because he repeatedly asked at least two of the women on his staff to bear his children. Not in a lewd and lascivious way, of course: he asked them to lend him their wombs under contract, offering one of the women five million dollars if she got the job done. In the inevitable non-apology he issued following the announcement that he would resign, he claimed not to realize such a proposition might possibly make his staff members feel awkward or uncomfortable.

I can’t contemplate a subject like this without wondering about the context. How do you bring up a subject like this with the people in your employ? Were they standing around the water cooler in a lull after discussing the outcome of last weekend’s game when he blurted out, “speaking of being a good sport, have you considered the prospect of surrogacy?” Or did it come up even sooner than that, like at the job interview? “You know, this job comes with many perks, one of them being that you become eligible to receive millions of dollars in exchange for giving birth to my offspring.” Maybe he simply called them into his office one at a time to sound them out in a short interview:

“Janet, you’re a woman.”

“um. Yes?”

“Are you planning to get pregnant in the next twelve to eighteen months?”

“Beg your pardon?”

“Because I mean if you weren’t going to be using your womb in the immediate future, I could make it worth your while to bless me and my wife, who is totally up for this, with a child.”

“um.”

“Or two. Bonus if you deliver twins.”

“Yeah, I think I hear my phone ringing.”