monster

Somebody on Twitter asked, “Are you a sock-shoe-sock-shoe person, or a sock-sock-shoe-shoe person?”

Another somebody answered, “What kind of MONSTER does sock-shoe-sock-shoe?”

Well, I am that monster.

At least I am in winter, when the thick calluses on my feet dry out if I don’t slather them in some kind of moisturizer. Usually one of the creams with a dairy cow theme. I’m currently using Bag Balm, made by the Dairy Association Co. Inc. of Lyndonville, Vermont. After rubbing a generous dollop of unguent on the heel of my foot, I quickly slip the foot into a sock so it doesn’t get on the floor or anywhere else. And then, because the balm is undoubtedly soaking through the sock, I slip my foot into a shoe to keep everything where it’s supposed to be.

And that’s how I became that monster all of Twitter feared.

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