We went shopping for an automobile yesterday, which is kind of a weird way to describe what we were doing, now that I think about it. “Shopping” seems to imply that we know something about cars, that we’re looking for a particular car, and/or that we’re comparing one car over another, or one seller over another. None of those things are true. We know nothing about cars, other than the basics that most people know: they have four wheels, and when you get in them and turn the key the engine goes vroom and you drive it away.
And we’re not looking for a particular car, or rather, we are: we’re looking for a red car, or an orange car. In a pinch, we’ll take a green car. Anything but a car that is gray, black, or white. We’ve owned a gray car for ten years and you know what? Those fuckers are everywhere. Every parking lot is a sea of gray cars that are all roughly the same shape. I don’t know how much time we’ve spent looking for our car while it was just ten or twenty feet away, hidden in plain sight. So our next car is going to be orange or green or blue or red.
And although we have no brand loyalty whatsoever, we went to a Subaru dealer yesterday because a lot of people we know own Subarus and love them. We own a Toyota. We bought it because we owned a Toyota while we were in Japan and we loved it. And we would buy a Toyota again, but now we’re probably going to buy a Subaru because everybody says they’re great and the one we drove yesterday was pretty nice. And it was blue.
Finally, we are not interested at all in comparing one car with another, much less several cars. The last thing we want to do — literally — is comparison shop for cars. We don’t even want to spend the time to look at one car. We would much rather get someone who enjoys shopping for cars, tell him what we want, give him a stack of cash, and wait for him to bring us a new car. That would be our dream. But since it doesn’t work that way, we decided to buy a blue car — or it could be red! — then we went straight to the Subaru dealer, because we heard people talking about Subarus, and we drove a blue one and we liked it, and that’s probably the one we’ll get. Unless they can get us a red one.
This Is Drivel 