Bug me

Mosquitos LITERALLY drained me of every drop of blood while I was trying to mow the lawn yesterday. I am a desiccated corpse, yet somehow i am still able to write this drivel.

I know better. I should have prepared. It is August, after all, the time of year when the mosquitos are not content to come out in the morning and the evening, and leave us alone during the afternoon so we can sit in the yard with a book and a beer and relax. Those days are over until the temperatures fall and the leaves start to turn.

But I didn’t take any precautions in my hurry to get the mowing over and done with. I just grabbed the mower and started to cut, and quickly stirred up a cloud of biting bugs that turned and attacked without hesitation or remorse, because they’re bugs. They don’t have brains. I have a brain, but I didn’t use it until it was too late.

I had to stop after mowing about half the front yard, retreat to the bathroom, and douse myself in bug repellent before I could go back to mowing again. It was one of those all-natural bug sprays, because the family gardener, My Darling B, is the prime user of bug spray around here, and she can’t abide anything that so much as hints at toxicity. The spray I used was citrus-based, for instance, and it worked surprisingly well. Before I put it on, I couldn’t walk ten steps without stopping to swat away the mosquitos that had alighted on my arms and legs. After I sprayed myself, I only had to wave them away from my neck and face, because of course I forgot to spray there. Sheesh.

Mowing the front and back lawn took two hours and two pints of ice water, sucked down during a short break after the front lawn was cut. After I was done, I had another point of water, followed by a beer,because I felt I earned it. Also, a long, cool shower, and another beer.

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