The cats got junk food last night. They were sooo happy.

I usually buy cat food at Mad Cat or at the co-op where I can get cat food made from meat and not that crappy cereal that gets dressed up and sold as gourmet cat food. Cats are made to eat meat, not cereal. I have seen our cats swallow mice whole. They’re carnivores. Feeding cereal to cats cannot be good for them.

But yesterday it was raining during my lunch break so I couldn’t get to the store to buy cat food and by quitting time I clean forgot that we were completely out of canned food so I drove straight home without a stop at the co-op. Dammit.

Bonkers has a real hard time eating solid food these days. He can do it, but I don’t like to put him through that. For one thing, he makes a gawdawful mess. He doesn’t seem to have any feeling on one side of his mouth and I don’t think he can work his lips on that side very well, so to get food into his mouth he has to scoop it up with his tongue and throw his head back, scattering about half the kibble that was on his tongue all over the place. To make up for this loss, he scoops up as much as he can by mashing his face into the bowl. Kind of banging it into the bowl, actually. Looks like it hurts.

Soft food is easy for him to lap up, though, so I try to have plenty of cans on hand all the time, and that’s where I fell down on the job last night. I couldn’t stand the thought of watching him bang his face into his bowl, so I ran down to Copp’s, the chain grocery store down by the highway, to get some emergency back-up soft food. Copp’s is a big-box store, almost as big as Wal-Mart. The aisles are each a quarter-mile long, and you can find forty-two dozen different kinds of Cap’n Crunch in the breakfast cereal aisle, but how many brands of cat food do they offer? Two. Little Friskies and 9 Lives. Crap and more crap. Thanks for that, Copp’s.

Oops, three. They also had Fancy Feast. I’m pretty sure that’s a brand of either 9 Lives or Little Friskies, though. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re all the same crap owned by the same company.

So anyway, I bought two cans of the crap food and spooned some out for the Bonk when I got home and he gobbled it up like it was the best thing ever. Of course. My Darling B pointed out that it’s probably the cat equivalent of buying him a bag of Bugles. Mmmm! Bugles! Thank you! Thank you for Bugles! I know it’s crap and it’s not even good for me but I LOVE BUGLES! Nom nom nom nom!