I was reading a chapter of Gotham: A History of New York City to 1898 last night and ran across the name “Adrien van der Donck.” Isn’t that fantastic? He was in New York back when the place was lousy with Dutch people and was known as the New Netherlands and, later or earlier (I’m not sure yet), New Amsterdam.
I mentioned this very cool name to My Darling B. Whenever I run across a very cool name, I have to point it out to somebody, or I’ll burst, which is pretty messy, so I try to avoid that. B opined that just about any name would be made way cooler by putting “van der” in the middle and, just then, Bonkers jumped up to sit with me.
So I tried it out. “Hey, it’s Jasper van der Bonkers,” I said.
And there was much tittering from B.
Hm. Every name is way better with a “van der” in the middle.
This Is Drivel 
“Sean van der Sanford.” Nah, just sounds kinda clunky. I agree with you in general principle, however.
And shouldn’t it be “Bonkers van der Okonski?”
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Clunky! “Sean van der Sanford” sounds anything but clunky to me! It rolls trippingly from the tongue! Try it with a pseudo-Danish accent and see if you don’t change your mind.
And no. He is not “Bonkers van der Okonski” because he’s not my heir and therefore not an Okonski. I love him like a cat, not like a son or any other member of my family. So, being the one and only, he is the foundation of his family and therefore a Bonkers. And “Jasper” sounded good with “van der Bonkers” so I went with that.
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