I was asked today why I wasn’t wearing jeans. Casual Friday at the office requires that everyone wears jeans. I don’t even own a pair of jeans, I advised the coworker who asked me what the heck I thought I was doing. That wasn’t a good enough excuse. “Get yourself down to Blain’s Farm and Fleet, then,” she told me. There’s a Farm & Fleet just down the road from where I live, so I can’t claim not to know what she’s talking about.

What I ought to do is go all-out: Get a pair of coveralls, a flannel shirt and a great big, red bandanna to stuff in the chest pocket, then stand just outside my office door with my thumbs jammed in my armpits and say “Howdy!” to everyone that passes by. Casual takes a nosedive.