Tag: random idiocy
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1ribbon
I finally got a typewriter ribbon for the most recently-acquired typewriter in my collection. Did you know you can still get typewriter ribbons from Staples? You can, but only one at a time. That’s all I ever find on display at the Staples down the road. Just one. They must have a great big box Read.
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truckstache
A truck with a mustache. That is all. Read.
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measurable laziness
A list of things I should get done this weekend: mow the back lawn pick up all the crap laying around in the back yard (should probably do that before I mow) clean up all the crap that’s accumulated on the deck mulch the branches I’ve pruned off bushes over the summer and piled in Read.
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winnings
Next time I win the Power Ball lottery (you didn’t know I’d won it before?), I’m going to use my winnings to rent a storefront in town. I’m going to hang a big sign over the door that says “Typewriter Repair Shop” in Courier Bold and set all my typewriters in the window. In the Read.
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novocain
It’s a face that’s a lot easier to make after your mouth’s been shot full of novocain. Try it next time after you get back from the dentist’s. Read.
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commentary
Most of the comments I get here on the drivel blog come from spam robots. My loyal readers are a very reticent bunch, to the point that I don’t even know they’re out there. Really, I can’t even hear them breathing. But you’re out there, right? Right? Spam robots generally have quite a lot to Read.
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pimento
Did you know that pimentos are chilis and not just some random red vegetable matter dangling from the middles of olives like naval lint? I have to admit I never thought about it until today, when My Darling B served pimento cheese spread for lunch. “Where did you get pimentos?” I asked her, pondering for Read.
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aging
I think My Darling B and I may have crossed the line and become Old People. Not just older people, but certifiably Old People, as in crotchety old, cane-waving, get-off-my-lawn Old People. The evidence is mounting, and seemingly irrefutable. See if you don’t agree: We both wear glasses now. I’ve been wearing glasses for dozens Read.
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poop
Wowzers, thirteen hundred words on how I stink. And I even got a poop joke in there. I might as well just rename this Dave’s Poop Blog and find a five-year-old to write it, then sit back and watch the money come rolling in. IN THE COMMENTS I’ve received the following adoring message from Purificadoras Read.
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old man smell
I’ve recently become afflicted with old man smell. I’m going to assume you know what I mean by that and just plow ahead with my story. This is going to get pretty gross, so what I’m going to do is babble for a little bit here about how gross it’s going to get so you Read.
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