Tag: politics
-
moderation
I would be such a terrible moderator for presidential debates. “Let’s stay on topic, please.” “Would you please answer the question, sir?” “Stick to the facts without trying to spin them, please.” “Hold on: Do you have any statistics on that?” “Time, sir.” “Time, gentlemen.” “Time, goddammit, time! TIME!” Read.
-
moocher
I got a phone call from a moocher this morning. Stand on a street corner with a cardboard sign, or make the most of technology and call me on the phone; either way, you’re just a moocher if you’re begging me for money. It was so unusual for the phone to ring any time before… Read.
-
can’t wait till it’s over
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but apparently there’s this election coming up? If you haven’t heard, then I’m just going to assume you don’t have a television or radio and you live miles from anyone who does and you don’t have a car and you never talk to anybody and, as far as you’re… Read.
-
payout
Heard this on the radio this morning: “If you’ve ever wanted to give money to a politician, but you couldn’t get to your bank or your checkbook, you may soon be able to make a donation over the phone.” Well, thank goodness we will soon have another way to fork over our money to politicians!… Read.
-
test
MRRRR! MRRRR! MRRRR! This has been a test of the State of Wisconsin electoral system. In the event of an actual election, everyone would have been able to cast their votes before a winner was declared, and candidates for office would have remained in the election until all the votes were counted. This has only… Read.
-
mandate
Broccoli. I can’t open a newspaper, switch on the radio, or surf the internet without being reminded of the wisdom of supreme court justice Antonin Scalia, who wonders if the federal government will be forcing us all to buy broccoli soon. Gee, Mr. Scalia, would that really be so bad for anybody? Considering what the… Read.
-
fling
Leaders of various evangelical groups gave their endorsement to Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, because he’s the tall, dark stranger they would most like to have a fling with before resigning themselves to political marriage with Mitt Romney. I promise I’m not making that up. Richard Land, president of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Committee… Read.
-
interminable
And now, a summary of every news bulletin, editorial and talking pundit I’ve heard on the radio this week: Monday: Caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus caucus. Tuesday:… Read.
-
margin
Oh, hey, look at that, Romney won in the Iowa GOP primary. That was unexpected. Sure didn’t see that coming. What a surprise. I’m astounded. According to The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Romney barely beat Santorum by “the tiniest of margins – eight votes.” In the whacky world of politics it’s entirely possible I’m wrong about this,… Read.
-
tax
Not that you asked, but here’s my idea for a tax plan: Everybody pays the same percentage that I pay, and when I say “everybody,” I mean corporations too because, as everyone knows, corporations are people. This cannot possibly be class warfare. I’m asking only that everybody pay the same exact percentage of their income… Read.
This Is Drivel 