This Is Drivel

Tag: office work

  • Happy Monday

    When I got to the office yesterday morning I set my bag down next to my desk, as I do every morning, hung up my hat and coat, sat down in my chair and opened the file cabinet drawer where I’ve kept my shoes ever since those first merry flakes of winter cheer forced me… Read.

  • Search Me

    I got a call at work yesterday from the secretary of State Representative Somebody, who wanted to know if our department licensed tax assessors. We didn’t, but I figured I could find out who did, so I went from office to office looking for somebody who’s been with the department a lot longer than I… Read.

  • Flesh-eating fish

    At our bi-monthly staff meeting last week, I learned two very important things: flesh-eating fish pedicures are banned in Wisconsin, and I’m not the only person who owns a Ped Egg and thinks it’s awesome. My very own foot-care strategies have evolved quite a bit over the years, in parallel with the evolution of my… Read.

  • Dookie

    After finishing off my morning coffee the other day I went to the men’s room to read a magazine. Not really, but that’s the euphemism I’m going with. There are four stalls in the men’s room and I try always to use the first one. I read that you should use the first stall because… Read.

  • A Bird for a Bennie

    ,

    I took almost the whole day off from work today because I was the only one in the family who still had enough time off from work this year to drive into the country to pick up the turkey. One of the bennies in my contract for employment is that I get thirty-six hours of… Read.

  • Hot Stuff

    There are just two microwave ovens in the break room at work, and maybe two-dozen people, but unfortunately they all want to nuke their food at the same time. And we’ve only got forty-five minutes for lunch. Just one microwave was humming when I walked in yesterday. Popping the door on the one that wasn’t… Read.

  • Pilsbury doughboy

    A guy I’d never met before stopped by my desk at work to ask me if I wanted to participate in a chili cook-off. I didn’t want to, so I told him that my cooking skills stopped somewhere between making toast and scrambling eggs, which wasn’t too far from the truth. He chuckled and said,… Read.

  • Stop calling, stop calling

    I’ve got a telephone that hates me. I don’t believe it’s a personal thing, I think it’s just that the AI designed for it loathes everyone, equally and indiscriminately. Her voice drips with contempt as she ticks off my options, but I realize it only seems to hate me in particular because I happen to… Read.

  • What I Did On My Day Off

    It’s Furlough Monday! Time to stay at home and do something frivolous. Or not so frivolous, if you’re the guy in charge of keeping the bathroom clean and you sort of let it slide for a couple weeks. Yuk. I made a project out of it by driving down to the store to buy a… Read.

  • I god a ruddy node

    One of the benefits of working in an office environment is receiving a steady paycheck. I think we can all agree on that. Maybe another thing we can all agree on is one of the most glaring detriments: Having to acquire a whole new herd immunity. I have no idea if this has ever been… Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend