Category: Our Humble O’Bode
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department of lawns
If America should decide to elect me to the presidency instead of Trump (I’m not saying it’s likely, but it’s not impossible), I promise to eliminate lawn mowers from every state in the Union. And leaf blowers. Especially leaf blowers. The mere possession of an operable leaf blower for anything other than display purposes would Read.
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plunging water
I have a funny story, sort of. I was eating breakfast day before yesterday. Sitting alone at the table, I heard My Darling B rouse herself from bed and make her way to the bathroom. I usually wake up long before she does, partly because it’s my nature, and partly because that way I can Read.
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there will be blood
No weekend would be complete without a home improvement project, and no home improvement project would be complete until there was blood. The spigot in the kitchen sink has been dripping for weeks. Okay, more like months, but it was a drip we could put up with when it started because it would drip for Read.
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overrun
We’ve had a mouse problem for a long time. When Bonkers The Cat was around and was still full of piss and vinegar, he did his part to keep the mouse population under control. Boo would play with the mice that Bonkers chased out of the corners, but I don’t think she ever went looking Read.
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Fertile
On a beautiful day like today, nothing makes me quite as happy as realizing, as l stroll through the neighborhood and run out of fingers counting the number of people who are raking leaves, that I am never going to do that. I was going to add, not until they make it illegal, but when Read.
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hand towel
I went to the laundry basket with dripping hands and started pawing through it. “What are you looking for?” B asked. “Hand towel,” I answered, pulling out what I thought was a hand towel. “Don’t use that,” she admonished me. “That’s a rag. Just look at how dirty it is.” She held up a neatly Read.
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chip off the old block
I pruned one of the lilac bushes in the back yard two weeks ago but I didn’t do anything with the branches I pruned off the bush because I didn’t have the time then. They’ve been sitting in the back yard for two weeks until today when I finally ran them through the wood chipper. Read.
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mummy
The lawn mower didn’t start when I pulled the trigger on it yesterday. The blades were very hard to turn by hand, so I thought that maybe the bearings on the motor could use a touch of oil, and that meant I would have to take the engine cover off. I had wanted to do Read.
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is that a dibble in your pocket?
Phrases about working in the garden that sound normal when My Darling B says them but sound dirty when I say them: pruning the sage plowing the potato bed weeding the patch sowing the sweet peas is that a dibble in your pocket? Read.
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blister
Well, I thought I was ready to do a little yard work today, but I didn’t realize how literally true that would turn out to be. A little was all I could handle after blobbing out on the recliner all winter. My Darling B wanted the leaves from the front yard to turn them into Read.
This Is Drivel 