Category: daily drivel
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what’s that smell?
With about fifteen minutes between chores this morning, I started folding clothes from a basket that’s been sitting on the floor in our bedroom all week, a common-enough sight in our house. We can wash clothes like the pros, we’re just not so good at folding them or putting them away. Sometimes we go a… Read.
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paula dean
I’m beginning to despair that I will never be able to read the news again without having to look at Paula Deen’s freakishly bright smile hovering over some story about how she lost yet another endorsement or book deal. It’s only been going on for, what, a week? Feels like ETERNITY. Our language needs a… Read.
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Monstrous Red Rain
In every movie I’ve ever seen about the war in Viet Nam, there’s always one scene where it’s raining like it’s never going to stop raining. That’s how it’s raining here today. If a visitor from another planet landed in my backyard today, he would nickname this planet Rain. Read.
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monstrous red blob
Not biking to work today. Woke up to thunder and was greeted by spotty rain drizzling down when I opened the front door to let the chipmunks tease the cats. And there was also a monstrous red blob coming in from the west on the satellite map when I checked the National Weather Service. I… Read.
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midnight snack
I’m gonna go to bed now, and any cats who wake me up at three in the morning, I’m gonna eat em. I’m not even gonna stop to skin em. Just eat em like apples. Read.
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under effen wear
He was wearing jeans that were pulled all the way up to his waist and properly belted so there was no chance they were going to sag, ever. And over the jeans he wore triple-XL plaid boxer shorts. Oh yes. It can always get worse. Read.
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rooty toot toot
My Darling B has discovered an amazing product: a non-dairy ice cream that makes me fart more than real dairy does. In fact, my gut may have turned last night’s approximately 8-ounce serving completely into more gas than one human being would ever produce in a 24-hour period under normal conditions. Or even under abnormal… Read.
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No, after you
Biking to work today, I slowed down at the spot where the bike trail crossed Blount because a Budweiser beer truck was coming up the road. He was moving pretty slow but I’m pretty slow sometimes too and I didn’t want to get smooshed like a bug, so I stopped. I had to wait a… Read.
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cat plan
The cats came so close to realizing their nefarious plan. For weeks, they’ve been waking me up a little earlier each day by standing at the foot of our bed mewling, or jumping on my head, and I’ve been obliging them by getting up and feeding them, thinking that with a little food in their… Read.
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lost weekend
I was sitting here just now, gazing out the window at the misty morning as I sipped piping hot joe from an oversized cup, wondering where the hell the weekend went already. Last week was like drowning for five days straight, smothered in a sea of dumbassery (special thanks to Charlie Pierce for my new… Read.
This Is Drivel 