Category: daily drivel
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Kill Me Now
The song stuck in my head this morning is the saccharin-sweet teen ballad Loving You by Debbie Gibson Minnie Riperton. It’s been playing on a loop for hours. I want to die. Next-day edit: I eventually got this song out of my head without killing myself, but it came back the next day. Not only… Read.
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little blue jug
It’s the ‘too tired to write a blog post’ blog post. G’night. Read.
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invalid cow
This is a cow with a fist for a face. Your argument is invalid. Read.
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this is your brain on drugs
Baby, The Rain Must Fall, the song in which Glenn Yarbrough uses weather as a metaphor to tell his gal why he wants to boink other women, has been playing on a loop in my head ALL FREAKIN’ DAY! Memory is a cruel thing. In thirty years I probably won’t be able to remember my… Read.
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fiver
At the grocery store the other day, I walked in just as a guy was backing a shopping cart out of the rack and passing it to his daughter, who appeared to be about five years old. “There you go,” he told her, “get all the germs off.” The little girl obliged by taking a… Read.
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new job?
George Clooney offered me a job last night. I think. I was on vacation on a canal barge with a big family. They let me come along for free because I knew how to pilot the canal barge. I was in the pilot house with the father of the family and the owner of the… Read.
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surrender
A small mammal ran through the rain gutter at about three o’clock this morning. I assume it was a mammal, anyway. Wasn’t a lizard. Could’ve been a bird, I suppose, but it ran awfully fast when it hit the corner of the house like a bomb, rolled into the gutter and ran all the way… Read.
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how-to
How to make a baby… …the rest of the series at My Modern Met. Read.
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thoughtful chin stroke
With a thoughtful chin stroke, I proclaim the following: All public toilet stalls shall from this day forward be installed with big, red fire bells that shall clang and clang and clang until the users thereof shall flush their dookie, because yuck. War with Syria. What could go wrong? I mean, seriously, what could possibly… Read.
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code red
Maybe I’m missing something … [Texas] state agencies described resistance from some fertilizer companies in trying to inspect their facilities. The Fire Marshal’s Office has identified 153 facilities in the state that are believed to store ammonium nitrate. Since Texas doesn’t have a state fire code, the fire marshal lacks the authority to conduct inspections… Read.
This Is Drivel 