Category: daily drivel
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candy
Cleanup night! While My Darling B chopped up vegetables, getting them ready to dump into a wok for a tasty dinner of stir-fry, I changed into rags, dragged a bucket of cleansers and solvents from the hall closet and scrubbed the shit out of the bathroom. Literally, I guess. Every time I do that, I’m… Read.
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the man
I bought gadgets from a number of vendors at a toy train show last weekend. The first vendor itemized my purchases on a preprinted receipt, figuring out the sales tax before totalling the tab. Then I bought a twenty-dollar item from another vendor and all he asked for was twenty dollars. “No sales tax?” I… Read.
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reuben
One of my favorite ways to test a restaurant is to order their Reuben sandwich. It’s impossible to fake the results of a Reuben sandwich test. And they’re so tasty. I’m happy to report that Chalice restaurant in Oshkosh passed tonight’s Reuben exam. Read.
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seats
In last night’s dream it was the first day of class. All the seats were assigned, our names written on note cards laid on the seats of the hundreds of chairs packed into the classroom, all written in an alphabet I’d never seen before. The teacher wouldn’t allow anyone to talk, so I couldn’t ask… Read.
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irony
Could there be a more ironic news story? “Suicide Bomb Trainer in Iraq Accidentally Blows Up Class,” The New York Times Read.
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hippy dippy
I got my pretty hair cut yesterday, or I got my hair pretty cut. Works either way. My Darling B says when my hair gets long it’s very pretty in a masculine way. I don’t know why she felt the need to add that past part. Maybe I’m a lot more insecure that I think… Read.
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up to here
Okay, I’ve had just about enough of this sub-zero crap. I mean it. Enough’s enough. You’ve made your point, Mother Nature. I know it’s only the first week of February, but I’ll cry uncle, if that’s what you’re waiting for. I’m not proud. Uncle. There. Now cut it out. Read.
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cleanup
As we were speeding down the beltline on our commute to work beside a tanker truck filled with liquid nitrogen, I wondered what kind of mess that would make if it crashed and how they would clean it up. Until I remembered that nitrogen is inert, and it would all evaporate, even in freezing weather,… Read.
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peckerwood
Lieutenant General Clyde A. Vaughn, please use the word “peckerwood” in a sentence: Lt. Gen. Clyde A. Vaughn, former director of the Army National Guard, defended the recruiting program as necessary and effective, but acknowledged that he was unaware of the abuses at the time. “I told them: We got to catch the first peckerwoods… Read.
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eat me
If I never see this advertisement again, that’ll be just fine with me. It seems to pop up on every single web site I’ve visited recently, as if I’ve been Googling “gobs of blood-encrusted snot I’d like to swallow.” There’s a part of me that would like to know what the connection is between high… Read.
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