Category: damn kids!
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the wave
Who doesn’t love sitting in traffic? Especially when there’s no apparent reason for it: no crashes, no tolls, no flaming mattresses. Wait, what? Flaming mattresses? That’s a thing? Because if it is, I feel cheated, having never, ever seen any flaming mattresses in any of the traffic jams I’ve been caught up in. How have Read.
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smartphone
As I mention earlier, we replaced our dumb phones with smart phones. We made up a lot of reasons that sounded good for doing this but the real reason we did it is that SMART PHONES ARE AWESOME! The dumb phones we had were the pay-as-you-go type, which were fine for making phone calls. In Read.
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aarp
My Darling B laughed when I got my first offer for a membership card to AARP. “That means you’re officially old,” she said. She wasn’t laughing when she got her first AARP card in the mail last night, though. “Those bastards! I’ve got a whole month left!” was all she could say. Read.
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over the hill
It was casual Friday and Cindy, one of my coworkers, came dressed in a baggy t-shirt with day-glo peace symbols printed all over it. When I ran into her at the copy machine I asked her, “Were you ever on Laugh-In?” “What’s that?” she asked. “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In? You’ve never seen it?” “No, what Read.
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vintage
On my bike ride home from work this evening I stopped at the post office to mail a letter. Kids: A letter is like e-mail that you print out and give to the recipient. I know it sounds weird, but that’s how it used to be. Did you know that post offices don’t have stamp Read.
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aging
I think My Darling B and I may have crossed the line and become Old People. Not just older people, but certifiably Old People, as in crotchety old, cane-waving, get-off-my-lawn Old People. The evidence is mounting, and seemingly irrefutable. See if you don’t agree: We both wear glasses now. I’ve been wearing glasses for dozens Read.
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bummer
National Public Radio has been presenting a series of articles about growing old and retiring that don’t make it sound all that appealing. As a matter of fact, they make it sound like a great big bummer. “Retirement: Reality Not As Rosy As Expectation” is all about how retirement was not at all what people Read.
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old man smell
I’ve recently become afflicted with old man smell. I’m going to assume you know what I mean by that and just plow ahead with my story. This is going to get pretty gross, so what I’m going to do is babble for a little bit here about how gross it’s going to get so you Read.
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Sit On It
I have to tell you I’m still happy to be employed, but I think I sit on this job more than I have on any other job I’ve ever held before. It sounds like a strange observation to make, but at one point this afternoon I felt as if I was literally putting down roots Read.
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Show and Tell
Aaron, one of my coworkers, was showing me how to approve course work for continuing education. That’s what I do now; I’m one of the two continuing education specialists in my unit at the Department of Regulation and Licensing, so I’d better know how to do this at least a little better than the guy Read.
