Bit of a mishap on my evening walk. I set out up the road to Woodland Park, continued on through the Aldo Leopold Nature Center and into the Edna Taylor Conservation Park, with the though of tramping around as many of the trails in Edna Taylor as I could. Got about halfway through the park before I began to think, “Hmm, I might need to have a wee soon, better head for Menard’s,” which is not far from Edna Taylor. I looped around the back side of the park and headed for the trail that would take me to the exit to the road near Menard’s but was not quite there when I realized, “I’m not gonna make it.” It’s one of the perils of being an old man, I’ve learned. I looked around, set my sights on a big tree about fifty yards off the trail and surrounded by as much undergrowth as you can find in early spring, checked all the angles once I’d gotten there and, when I’d figured out where to stand and which direction to face so as not to alarm anybody (I hoped), took care of my business. Kinda ewww, but sometimes that’s just what you’ve got to do.

That taken care of, I continued to wander through the park for the next fifteen or twenty minutes at my leisure … until a little voice began to warn that I’d need to find another place to take a wee. What the hell? I usually drink a lot of water while I’m at work, to keep myself from mindlessly snacking, but I honestly didn’t think I’d drunk so much that I’d be non-stop peeing in the evening. Also, it doesn’t help that I have an old man’s bladder now (thanks to being an old man, natch) that gives me three to five minutes between “better look for a toilet” and “you’re going to pee RIGHT NOW!”

I’d gotten away with peeing in the bush once, but I didn’t want to push my luck too far, so I headed for the nature center. Got there too late, it had already closed for the day. I pressed on to the office building next to the water tower (which is called, imaginatively enough, Water Tower Place) where I knew I would find a public bathroom in the lobby. Almost made it, too. Almost, but not quite. Been a long time since I’ve peed myself like a kindergartner who drank too much from the bubbler. Luckily, my underpants and my shirt tails caught most of it, and I was wearing nylon hiking pants that didn’t show the rest.

It was a short walk home from the water tower. I made it the rest of the way without incident, thank goodness.