The first thing I did today, after I got out of bed and drank way too much coffee, was get fingerprinted so the Department of Transportation could do a background check on me, one of the conditions of being hired by them. Oh wait, did I mention that I got a new job? No? Well, I did. I got a job at the DOT in the division of motor vehicles. The fraud investigation unit, to be exact. I’m pretty friggen happy about that. I’ve always wanted to be a fraud investigator. It was the first desire formed in my head after I was conceived. Only took me fifty-three years to satisfy it. I’m a late bloomer.