I have been way too productive this week. Gaze upon the laundry list of my accomplishments and weep as you realize that your feeble efforts cannot compare to mine:

• the storm windows are finally up, so if you’re one of the Merry Little Breezes that has been blowing through the front windows of Our Humble O’Bode, you’ll have to look for another house to blow through from now on because you ain’t getting into ours
• my hair has been cropped to a respectable length instead of the hippy-ish coiffure it had previously developed into. Although I realize this is not technically an accomplishment that is the result of my doing, I was in fact present for the aforementioned hair-cutting and believe that, because it had to be so, therefore it is mine; so I include it with my own accomplishments
• the garden hoses are no longer in the garden where they’ll freeze and crack; instead, they’re tightly coiled and tied up in the attic above the garage the way god intended, as we would know if any of the many gods throughout history had ever made their desires about garden hoses known
• the blessed Weber grill has been disassembled into its many component parts and put up in the garage, in order that it may be shielded from the nefariously corrosive elements of winter and emerge in early spring when we will once again require its services to enjoy perfectly barbecued burgers
• the bathroom is now clean and thank jah because holy shit was it getting unbearably ucky in there. Funny how a room that’s constructed for the purpose of voiding one’s colon can become so terribly repellent when it begins to whiff even a little bit like feces.
• a ton of laundry — a literal ton! — has been folded and put away where it belongs, so it is no longer lying in heaps in the hallway, or all balled up in the laundry hamper, and all done while watching The Cage, the rejected pilot for the series that would eventually be known as, what was it again? Oh, yeah: Star Trek
• all of my summer clothes have been folded and put away, and replaced by my winter clothes, which are oh so warm and comfy, and just in the nick of time so I no longer have to shiver and turn blue when the weather trends toward colder temperatures
• the movie Avengers has finally been watched by us, and we all thought it was awesome! Our favorite scene (it was unanimous) was when Loki made his “I am a god!” speech, just before Hulk grabbed him by the feet and bashed him against the floor over and over again