The most honest thing I’ve read all day is the nutrition label on a roll of Necco wafers. That depends, of course, on whether you accept the premise that a roll of Necco wafers can be said to have any nutritional value at all.

“Serving Size: 1 roll,” it said. That’s as baldly honest as it gets. We know you’re going to eat the whole goddamn roll, so we’re not going to try to pump any sunshine up your skirt. You’re going to get a thousand times the RDA of sugar when you eat this. We’re not going to try to bullshit you by saying you’ll only get a gram because a serving size is two wafers. Enjoy!