No, seriously, the most awful movie I have ever seen in my life, whatever it was, has now been bumped by “The Savage Innocents,” starring Anthony Quinn. This was supposedly the movie that inspired Bob Dylan to write the song “Quinn the Eskimo.” It inspired me to walk out of the movie after just twenty minutes, and that was holding out as long as I could. If it hadn’t been an avant garde movie crowd I would’ve jumped out of my seat and run screaming from the theater when Mister Science Movie Voiceover Guy narrated the opening scene of the movie when Anthony Quinn, playing Inuk the eskimo, dropped in on his friend Asiak while he was slapping his wife’s naked butt. In time-honored tradition, Asiak invited Inuk to slap his wife’s ass for a bit, too, after it became clear that Inuk was lonely and longed for the company of a woman he could call his own. And all their dialog was written in that hokey “Me Tarzan, You Jane” lingo used by movie savages back in the day. I can’t believe we stayed as long as we did.