Jumping on the internet bandwagon, here are the few thoughts that buzzed through my brain cell at the sight of TSA goons frisking an eight-month-old baby:

Ah. Well. They’re doing that to be fair. Yeah! That’s the ticket! They grope everybody else, so it’s only fair that they give the baby a patdown, too. Babies aren’t any different from the rest of us! There are lots of really good reasons to pat down a baby. Yeah!

Most Obvious Reason: Baby Splosion Terrorists could shove several pounds of highly-explosive explosives down a baby’s diaper. Heck, after the underwear bomber, diaper could be highly explosive. And the mother could be the terrorist who’s just posing as a mother but she’s not, really, she just bought the baby on craigslist so she could stuff it full of explosives. That could happen.

Or maybe that’s not the most obvious reason. Maybe TSA thinks that terrorists stuffed a gun in the baby’s diaper. Might not be a very big gun, and it would be really gross after it’d been down a baby’s diaper after any length of time, but they’re terrorists, they’re capable of anything.

And, um … uh … I can’t think of any more reasons, but those two are some pretty damn good ones right there! Babies could be highly dangerous to airline travel! You can’t be too careful! This is for your own good!