As one of the CE (continuing education) specialists in the Office of Education and Examinations, I get phone calls all day long from people who have attended a course or weekend seminar and want to know if it would satisfy the requirements of their CE program. It always depends on the profession we’re talking about. Different professions have different rules, so I have to look up the administrative code to help them figure it out.

Sometimes the course makes perfect sense, but it turns out the rules say it can be used for CE only if the department approved it. Chances are about ten to one against this phone call having a happy ending.

Sometimes their profession is already very academic and the code is much more flexible. The chances of making these callers happy are much better.

And sometimes the course sounds about as right for the profession as a square peg sounds right for a round hole. Today, for instance, I got a call from a veterinarian who said she had recently completed a course in acupuncture and wanted to know if that would fit the bill.

At first I wasn’t sure I heard it right, but played it through: “Well, if it satisfies the requirements of the administrative code, you should be all right. Was it sponsored by such-and-such an organization?” When it turned out it had been sponsored by the approved organization, I went to the next qualification, which she said was also part of her course. I clicked through a few more requirements and she confirmed all of them, repeating the title of the course several times during the conversation, and every time she said it I was pretty sure I heard “acupuncture.” Hmmm.

“Well, as long as it meets all those qualifications, I’d say it would be acceptable as part of your CE program,” I assured her.

“Oh, I feel so much better now that I know I won’t have to take another course,” she said. “Thank you for your help.”

“You’re welcome,” I told her. “Say, just for my own information — you are saying ‘acupuncture,’ aren’t you?”

“Yes, that’s right,” she told me. “Acupuncture.”

“You practice acupuncture on animals?”

“Uh-huh, yes.”

And that’s when my mind was blown, not because I thought it was weird that vets would take classes to learn to practice acupuncture on pets, but because I was trying to imagine the idea occurring to someone in the first place. I can’t see musing to myself, I wonder what would happen if I stuck a needle in Boo’s face? because I know what would happen: She’d slice open my jugular with a deft swipe of her paw before she retreated to a corner to chew the needle out, leaving me to bleed to death in the middle of the floor. I would never get around to trying it on her.

I could almost see doing that to some dogs. A big, dumb lab, for instance, might not even notice if you stuck a needle in his face. You might get away with it on a sleepy old basset hound, too. A pit bull, or one of those overwound miniature poodles, on the other hand, would probably have the same reaction I imagined I’d get from Boo.

Acupuncture for pets. Wow.