This Is Drivel

Month: January 2011

  • John Armstrong, you’re a genius

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    John Armstrong was a freaking genius, was he not? This is just the kind of layout that makes boys big and small pucker their mouths and go “Oooooo!” Or at least that’s what it did to me. I go gaga for layout track plans with lots of track looped on top of itself with a… Read.

  • More More More

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    My earworm for the past friggin week, maybe even longer than that, has been “More, More, More” by The Andrea True Connection. Where the hell did that come from? I didn’t like that song when it was popular, I never had a copy of the single or the album, nobody ever plays it on the… Read.

  • Conspiracy Theory

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    So there I was, down on my hands and knees scrubbing brown fungus out of the cracks between the floor tiles. I had a portable radio tuned to the local oldies station and cranked up loud so I could sing along with Pat Benatar on Hit Me With Your Best Shot, a song that I… Read.

  • Where? When? Why?

    I found my library card! Oh Happy Day! I don’t remember exactly when I noticed it was missing from my wallet, but I haven’t been able to lay hands on it for quite a few weeks now. You can see how much attention I pay to the stuff in my wallet. As it turned out,… Read.

  • The Path Between The Seas

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    I enjoy reading about the turn of the century quite a lot. Not the last turn of the century, that one was a cosmic let-down. I’m talking about the ten or fifteen years on either side of the line dividing the 1800s and the 1900s. It’s easily the most interesting history of modern humankind. On… Read.

  • Search Me

    I got a call at work yesterday from the secretary of State Representative Somebody, who wanted to know if our department licensed tax assessors. We didn’t, but I figured I could find out who did, so I went from office to office looking for somebody who’s been with the department a lot longer than I… Read.

  • A Million To One

    It’s a funny thing: Tim dropped his car off at a local garage after work last night, then walked to our house to help me shovel off the driveway and hook a ride home. When I got back from his apartment, B said she tried to call both of us on our cell phones after… Read.

  • Are You Ready To Rrrrrrumble?

    It was lunchtime, and I needed lactase. You have oceans of it swirling around in your gut, but mine well’s gone comparatively dry. Without it, I’m powerless to digest milk products. And there I was, and there was my lunch, a bowl of yummy home-cooked turkey and wild rice soup made with half-and-half. A shot… Read.

  • A Month of Sundays

    “It’s Sunday,” My Darling B informed me after I shut off my bleeping alarm clock this morning. I paused from rolling out of bed, turned back to her and, not sure that I heard her correctly, asked, “What?” “It’s Sunday,” she repeated. Oh, what a sad, sad way to start the week. I put a… Read.

  • Duct Duct Goose

    My claim to fame today is that I figured out how to get some heat to my basement lair. The password is ‘ducts.’ Remember that. There’s going to be a test. I’m so tired of freezing my ass off when I’m in my basement lair. I’ve tried wrapping myself up in blankets, wearing long underwear,… Read.

photo of the author and the author's best friend