B and I watched episodes one, two and three of The Wire last night. I know it’s a TV show so old it’s been off the air almost three years, but we haven’t watched television since about 2005 and that was back when we were still living in Misawa, Japan, so we’ve got some catching up to do.

According to Wikipedia, The Wire is apparently the greatest television show ever made. Um. I thought it was pretty good, but no. Not the greatest ever.

First of all, it’s a cop show. There have been cop shows for as long as there’s been television, so it’s up against a whole crapload of cop shows, and the greatest cop show ever will always be Hawaii Five-O. Don’t even try to budge me on that. It’s got Jack Lord, possibly the only other actor besides Bill Shatner qualified to play Jim Kirk. It’s got hula girls. It’s got the most badass television theme song EVER. And what do the kids in The Wire holler to warn each other when the police are coming? They yell, “Five-Oh! Five-Oh!” I rest my case.

Second of all, if it were the greatest show ever, it would be even better than Jonny Quest, but it’s not. How can I be so sure? Because, as good as it may be, I wouldn’t watch an episode of The Wire more than once, but I’ll watch that Jonny Quest episode with the One-Eyed Screaming Energy Monster over and over and over until I die. It’s got jet packs! It’s got a flying saucer! IT’S GOT A ONE-EYED SCREAMING ENERGY MONSTER THAT MAKES ME WET THE BED! No cop show is ever going to beat that.

I googled The Wire after we finished watching, mostly because I thought I recognized that guy playing McNulty. His IMDB profile said he was in Chicago, I think playing the guy who bonked Renee Zellweger right before she shot him dead. His role in The 300 was deja-vu all over again, playing the guy who bonked Lena Heady just before she ran him through with his own sword. I’m thinking he’s probably feeling a lot better about being on The Wire where Deirdre Lovejoy absolutely fails to kill him in any way after he bonks her.

B picked up disks two and three but we didn’t watch them tonight. B went into a kitchen frenzy, baking little jam-filled tarts and I don’t know what else, and I was a clothes-washing maniac just about all night. We won’t get to watch them tomorrow night, either, tomorrow being our weekly dance lesson and I know B will want to go because she was sick last week and we missed, so barring natural catastrophe, we’ll be there. So Wednesday night at the earliest, and that’s if the DVD player isn’t acting up, which it was tonight, totally preventing me from watching Moon while I folded laundry. I popped in 101 Dalmations and fast-forwarded to Roger singing “Cruella de Ville,” my favorite part.