“Airline Worker Stumbles Across Box of Heads” – now there’s a headline you can’t read without feeling compelled to find out more.

How does anybody “stumble across” a box filled with severed heads? Do they routinely open boxes at the Southwest air freight terminal as a quality check, or maybe to break up the monotony? Was the box already partly torn open and instead of taping it up and sending it on its way they lifted the flap to see what was in there and OH MY GOD IT’S A BOX OF SEVERED HEADS!

Southwest Airlines does transport human specimens for medical purposes, but spokesman Chris Mainz said the airline called police and refused this shipment because it was not packaged and labeled properly.

We here at Drivel HQ wondered what the proper labeling would be for a box filled with “whole and partial heads” – something like, “You Do Not Want To Look In Here! We Mean It! You’ll Be Sorry!”